Dad in hospice - end of life rally?

Hi squirrels. That’s so sad about your dad. I personally have no experience of a parent in a hospice but it stands to reason that having got on top of his pain your dad is feeling better, better enough to be interested in food. When your dad comes home can the hospice arrange “ Hospice at home” so that his care isn’t interrupted? 
You must be heartbroken but at least he will be at home and you will be with him. 
Best wishes 

Hi Dani thank you for your message .

yes he did have hospice at home but the bleeding became difficult to manage for my mum and he asked to go in to the hospice as he was in a lot of pain and this was quite a big thing for him to ask for help. 
once he comes home they will help him at home again.

we are totally heartbroken he has been ill with liver disease for some time so but cancer has just sprung out of nowhere and developed rapidly. it’s difficult as he’s better at home but you don’t have the on hand care there and then but then when at the hospice you want him to be home!

Oh squirrels big hug!

There is a carers section in the community. You might like to dip in there for some more practical help. 
community.macmillan.org.uk/.../carers-only-forum

Hi Squirrels. So sorry to hear about your dad. My dad sadly died at home 35 years ago with Lung cancer we had care from our g p that was all that was available. My dad did have a rallying period about a week before he died but like I said different cancer different times. Sending hugs to you and  your family. 
Hazel x

Hi Squirrels

My mother was like your father, admitted to a hospice to control her symptoms, but never came home some 15 years ago.  Just this year as primary carer for my uncle I saw similar before he died in the hospice. 

I will be blunt based on those experiences.  I think your father is close to the end so make the best of the time you have with him.  My experiences tell me that the body shuts down slowly, especially in a place where he is comfortable and being will looked after.  There were occasional days when there was signs of an "improvement", but they did not last.  The breathing sounds rough which I have experienced with my mother and my uncle close to the end. 

My uncle wanted to die at home, but before he passed he told me that the hospice was the best place for him.  He was cared for and the staff always had time for a chat.  The food was good (when he wanted it) and despite strict Covid regulations he was genuinely happy.

It is tough, but ask the staff what they think.  They have lots of experience and will tell you as it is, in a gentle way.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Thank you for taking the time to reply Peter. I am sorry you have had to go through this twice before.

 
I hope we can speak with the doctors today to get an idea of how we are looking as I think it’s time to take him home now   Everything I read is pointing towards final days. 
I don’t want him to go but I hope it is soon I don’t want him to suffer anymore as right now he really is.

Thank you for taking the time to reply Hazel I really appreciate it. It’s ‘nice’ to hear from others who know what we are going through

Hi no problem if any of us can help if only with words we will do. 
Hazel x

Hi Squirrels1

I'm so sorry to read about your dad.

My father in law, Neri, was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2014. He had major surgery (despite the fact he was 93) but sadly they couldn't remove the tumour as it was wrapped around his carotid artery.  When he was discharged from hospital he came to live with us so we could care for him and he died at home with us.  It was all very distressing but he didn't want to be cared for anywhere else and was so grateful he was with his family.

I don't remember any rallying - just a rapid decline.

We managed to set up a bed for Neri downstairs so we could keep an eye on him at all times and we slept on a mattress on the floor.  The last couple of days the Macmillan nurses attended and put him on a morphine drip and upped the dose to keep him comfortable.  Before this we had been getting visits from the district nurse to change dressings on his neck etc.

I hope you have an outcome for his final days where you're all comfortable with his care.

Best wishes to you all.

Linda x