Hello everyone,
This is my first time of posting on here. I’ve been on here since February and have found all your help and advice invaluable. I’m now proactively seeking opinions I suppose rather than advice, so here goes.
My 56 year old husband Stuart was diagnosed with floor of mouth cancer in February this year. Surgery followed in March to remove the tumour, graft under the tongue, removal of lymph nodes on right side of neck. Nodes came back negative and he then embarked on 34 sessions of radiotherapy. That finished on 18th June and since then he has been trying to re-introduce foods as his taste was destroyed along with the ability to actually eat. Things were going well, just starting to try foods again but then another tumour appeared on the other side of his neck mid July, CT scan and biopsy confirmed it. He had surgery 14 days ago and is recovering from the actual surgery well. They removed the tumour along with 14 lymph nodes, 10 were clear. He emotionally breaks down on a daily basis. I know he’s mourning the man he was before. He has just had a long chat with me and said that every morning when he wakes up, he has a fleeting thought of ‘normality’ and the way it used to be, to be followed by the dark feeling of what life is really like now. He has some slight paralysis of his lip due to the second surgery, along with a numb left ear. He can’t eat properly yet. His face is swollen due to the surgery and he also has a lymphoedema under his chin which he has had since the first surgery. All in all, he’s down and struggling. I know that nobody can wave a magic wand to make everything rosy again, but does anyone have any hints or tips on how he can manage things in his head?
Thank you all and sending love to everyone.
Debbie xx
Debbie...I'll echo what Hazel said. Stuart sounds like he is depressed (not surprisingly) and could do with some professional support. Ask your GP if he can have a short course of antidepressants. They should help an awful lot, are not addictive and lots of us cancer patients find great help there. Macmillan are offering free counselling through BUPA. Information is HERE
Best wishes
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
Just echo Hazel and Dani's posts. My mood went off a cliff shortly post treatment in 2014, but I got anti depressants and some counselling (first session I sat down and cried for about fifteen minutes, couldn't speak) and got through it. I also had problems earlier this year after my second lot of treatment, but it wasn't as bad.
"Mourning the man he was" is a familiar feeling but eventually, hopefully, he'll learn to embrace the man he's become. He'll be a bit different, as I am, but certainly not a lesser person; all my experiences over the last eight years have made me a better person I think.
Feel for you both xx
Metastatic SCC diagnosed 8th October 2013. Modified radical neck dissection November, thirty-five radiotherapy fractions with 2xCisplatin chemo Jan/Feb 2014. Recurrence on larynx diagnosed July 2020 so salvage laryngectomy in September 2020.
The ups and downs are huge. Come and rant whenever you need. You have to look after yourself too. I’m glad there is a little sunshine today. Xx
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
