Hello

Hello there, I don't know anything about your cancer but I think we are all having the same fears and struggles. I struggle every single day mentally with it all. I started using cbd drops and meditation at night and it really helps. I hope you find a way to relax, sleep is so important for any fight x 

Hi Yakrab

Sorry to hear you have found yourself in your present situation.

When you feel physically well it is hard to understand where the cancer has crept up from.

Yes it is a difficult time waiting to hear ‘what next’ and so many thoughts go through your head. Night time is the worst when you tend to blow things out of proportion and as you said you then have difficulty sleeping.

Things do improve as time goes on as it is still early days. You can feel confident in your medical team that they will do the right thing by you.  When there is a plan in place you will feel that you are moving forward and the anxiety starts to decrease.

Try putting on a relaxation C.D. to help you zone out at night and realise that the thoughts that we tend to exaggerate and seem so bad at night in the light of day are not nearly so bad.

We have all been there and have come through and I know you will too.

Lyn x

Sorry I am so old fashioned. I should have said try streaming a relaxation session not use a relaxation C.D.

I still am trying to catch up with technology.

Lyn

Hi Yakrab and a warm welcome to our little community. So sorry you have had to find us but stick with us , there are lots of friendly people here for support and  useful tips to make this thing easier to bear. You should be hearing from your doctors soon and when you have a treatment plan things will drop into place and you will feel better about it.

Sophie66 had already said to put your trust in your team.

The treatment is difficult but is doable and pain manageable. I am 2 years out of base of tongue cancer treatment and living life in splendid isolation with my husband on a small holding in Wales.

Try to keep yourself busy and a piece of advice I would give at this time is to stay off Google. Its full of outdated statistics and inaccurate advice. You will scare yourself to death. The people to seek advice from are your medical team and the folk on here.

If you feel you are falling apart with stress and insomnia give your GP a ring and see if they can supply some mild sleeping pills or maybe even try a herbal remedy.

Good luck and come back when you know what's happening with your treatment.

hi Yakrab welcome to the club none of us wanted to belong to. 
It’s already been said please please keep off dr google you will only scare your self. While waiting for treatment plan find a good box set and try to chill relax if you can night times are the worst.I am 30 month post radiotherapy for tonsil cancer with several affected lymph nodes and living my life to the full. Treatment s hard but if I can do it any one can. 
ask anything on here one of us will always get bacK to you 

Hazel x

Welcome to the group. I too struggled in the early stages of this awful disease, fretting over all the possible outcomes. It was all consuming which in its turn resulted in awful insomnia. I just didn’t know which way to turn and was doubly worried at the effect it was having on my poor wife who was trying so so hard to support me.

My approach, in the end, was to ask my doc for some mild antidepressants to stop my body absorbing the serotonin which was just exacerbating the whole vicious cycle. I started taking 10mg of Citilopram and within ten days was thinking normally again. He also gave me some sleeping tablets as a temporary measure to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. I have to say it worked a treat.  There’s no shame in asking for the pills.  In my opinion it’s no different to taking meds to control something like blood pressure, for example. 

I only see this as a temporary measure, as long as I continue to make progress. 

Hi Yakrab and welcome

I too had base of tongue cancer which was diagnosed in May 2018.

There are many of us on the forum who understand exactly what you're currently going through and have successfully had treatment.  You will feel so much less anxious once you have a treatment plan in place.  In the meantime I can only agree with all the advice posted so far to help you relax or to have a chat with your GP for some medication to help you sleep.  As has also been pointed out, Googling definitely won't help with your stress levels!  Like many I made the mistake of Googling when I had very little information at the beginning and set my mind spinning in a spiral of imaginings which couldn't have been further from the truth.

All the best.

Linda x

Hi Yakrab

Welcome to our group.  I know you will find lots of advice on here that will help you cope with the journey you are now on.  Almost everyone on here has had a unique pathway so there is lots of experience.  Just ask the questions!

I am similar to you with base of tongue cancer found via a lymph node.  A couple on neck dissections and the removal of my tonsils and a year of waiting for the primary site to make itself known (primary site unknown is not common, but not unusual).  Then a year of watchful waiting.

Glad you have recovered from the tonsils.  That is a painful process!

I coped with the waiting/unknown by being open with people about my situation and keeping myself busy.  I have to say, looking back on it, that I think the year of watchful waiting was quite debilitating.  Again talking and keeping busy was what kept me sane.  I know that is difficult with lockdown! 

I also believe that taking charge of the situation also helps.  I do not believe that we "fight" cancer - it is a part of us and we need to manage it so that it does not rule our lives.  At some stages the treatment becomes all consuming, but you are still in charge; making decisions and learning about the new you.

Once you have the treatment plan I do believe you will cope much better.  You always have your clinical team and the real life expertise on here to help guide you through practical things that may make it easier on you.

I can't help with the sleep.  I did sleep well up until last Thursday, but now I have the primary found...  sleep is difficult.  Maybe speak to your GP?  

Hi Peter Sorry to hear you aren’t sleeping as we all know once you get the treatment plan and everything falls into place sleep will return. Your heads in a whirl at the moment

All of us here if you need anything. 
Hazel x

Thanks really appreciate this