Squamous cell carcinoma hpv

This is a very anxious time for you. I can empathise. The issue of ‘who to tell’ after a diagnosis can be a difficult one and one that I’ve not seen discussed much in here. I certainly wanted to keep it to myself until I had a better idea of the prognosis, whereas my wife wanted to be much more open. My attitude was that I’d rather tell people ‘I’ve had cancer’ than ‘I’ve got cancer’. There is no right or wrong to this, but it helped me cope. In the end I told close relatives and anyone else who was bound to find out, eg neighbours. Once I knew more I let others know on a need to know basis. At the risk of sounding churlish, I simply wanted to avoid repeatedly telling well wishers how I was progressing, so the fewer who knew the better in the early stages.

As regards recipes, he will likely recover from the biopsy fairly quickly (I was eating toast and marmalade the same evening) and, if he is like me, will fairly quickly get over surgery, if he has it and if it’s a straightforward tonsillectomy and neck dissection. But he will at some point need a variety of soft foods which will need to be fortified, especially if he undergoes radiotherapy. I didn’t need a feeding tube and managed to maintain my weight by eating largely Ready Brek, soup, cheese, double cream, scrambled eggs, ice cream and ambrosia rice pudding for about 4 weeks after radiotherapy.  6 weeks out and I am now cautiously introducing more solid foods. My sense of taste totally disappeared about 3 weeks into R/T but is now pretty much back to normal. But we are all different and it’s a case of suck it and see. You will have a dietician to talk to as part of the team and they will be very helpful.

So sorry to hear about your brother too. You’re having a tough time.

Good luck with the treatment. 

Hi Briscall and welcome to our little community. 
Marc has started off with an excellent reply and there are lots of people here with experience who will chip in

Problems will  arise as your partner’s treatment progresses and trying to address them all now is information overload but you’ve made a good start with some basics. 
What’s his name by the way? 
I told only a few relatives after my treatment plan was in place and started a blog if anybody wanted to know how I was. It’s impossible to hide it from people you see frequently and a return to work is difficult to envisage for some months afterwards so I was open about it but didn’t want to be bothered with day to day updates. 
I am now 2 years clear and enjoying life 

Do come back for support. We know how you and your parent are feeling. 
Best wishes 

Hi 

I had exactly the same as your partner, tonsil cancer primary and spread to one lymph node and i am so sorry for your loss- i recently lost my own father so i understand totally how multiple things such as this can get on top of you.

As for who to tell, its an individual thing i guess, i had to tell my boss at work, since i couldn't manage to work full time through treatment (i did work all the way through without a single day off sick but only worked 20 hours or so a week) but aside from family that was about it.

Food- i didnt need a rig either, but from about 5 weeks into treatment i was completely reliant on my fortisip, it wasnt until about 6 weeks after treatment that i started eating other foods (soft stuff, faggots, mash, soups etc)

From 6-12 weeks i started introducing more foods.. mash, eggs, cereal etc and now (15 weeks on) i can eat anything pretty much- i had a papa johns meatfeast pizza last night for example.

The only advice i would give on what to feed him is listen to what he can manage, and try to encourage him to take his pain relief by rote rather than as a reaction to pain, it made a big difference for me.

As he recovers from treatment and wants to eat proper food again, ....loads and loads and loads of gravy etc will help.

Acidic food- tomatoes, orange juice, pineapples are a HUGE no no during recovery as well.

I really hope the treatment goes well.

Trev

Thank you, especially for the food tips, though I am not sure what fortisip is ,I guess it is something they give you. Well done you for working through it, he is a tough cookie so hoping he will combat it okay, shopping will be even more of a nightmare though, like most men he hates it and I could with a  calm pill now before we go! I can't drive so we need to go together. I am a real gravy person being born up north but he is not unless he can put hot chilli sauce in it which I guess may not be a good idea now. He tends to avoid tomatoes because he gets gout. I will try to get him to take his meds at the right times as he does tend to only take things when it actually hurts rather than as a prevention. 

Thanks Carole

Hi Carole

FORTISIPS are a nutritional replacement when you can't eat.They are balanced and provide all the nutritional needs for recovery. Your partner's dietitian will provide them.

Ensures are similar

You can make smoothies from practically anything too.

A tip about driving, He will likely be unable to drive in the last couple of weeks and if he is on morphine won't be allowed to so it might be an idea to organise something now.

For pain management I made a list of when to take my meds and I was taking something every two hours. It really is better to prevent pain rather than kill it when it hits. There really is no need to suffer, it's not a competition. 

You sound like a great carer, he's lucky he has you to help him. My husband really stepped up and managed everything when he needed to.

Good luck

Thank you for those encouraging words, he is worried about how his throat will feel after the biopsy and I know everyone has a different reaction, you have now reminded me to put rice pudding on the shopping list, it's not normally as I cannot stand it but he loves it. He has told his closest male friends some of whom are among my closest friends too but men tend not to speak about their feelings much, it's a bit like prising open a wincle but it is good to talk as they say. We are going shopping now,eek the one thing he hates, so only a short post.

Hi 

I am Hazel 30 month post radiotherapy for tonsil cancer with several affected lymph nodes. Wont address what everyone else has already said. Apart from this period is honestly the worst it’s the waiting and not knowing. Once a treatment plan gets out in place everything else follows. Don’t think too far in advance re what food he may want to eat as one minute it will be anything then a night Hull gets turned off and you can’t eat what u could at lunchtime the same day. Hospital will advise hopefully sbout alternative feeding tubes high calorie food drinks.
mad fir telling people you can only go with hubby s wishes. Use us in her to rant or ask advise. 
I told near family neighbours then I started my blog to save John my hubby having to repeat on a daily basis. 
nod I am living m life almost as good as before get a little tired but am walking miles snd riding my bike. 
Hazel xx

Unknown said:

Thank you for those encouraging words, he is worried about how his throat will feel after the biopsy

In my experience and that of lots of people here....not too bad and fairly back to normal in a few days. Not so good if he has a tonsillectomy. That takes a few weeks to cope with

I had my tonsils removed and a mouth full of biopsies on 29th Jan. so relieved that the primary was found in my right tonsil. It was sore for about a week but I took Codeine every 6 hours for 5 days and then changed to soluble anadin. For me the worst part was the nausea and constipation caused by the painkillers and anaesthetic lol. Sending very best wishes. I am seeing my oncologist on Thursday so hopefully will have a treatment plan then xx

Hi Shell 12 welcome to the small community that none of us really want to be in. Good luck for Thursday pop back on when you’ve your treatment plan. Tip for constipation during treatment get laxido or similar prescribed and take by rote as the painkillers will cause you problems.I am 30 month post radiotherapy for tonsil cancer with several affected lymph nodes and now living my life to the fullest.

good luck Hazel x