Tongue and neck cancer

Hi and welcome. 
There’s no getting away from the fact that this is a really difficult treatment but it’s doable 

I was 68 when I finished six weeks RT for base if tongue cancer and I am six years clear now and living well. 
The chances of your husband not being able to swallow for a few weeks are high. Most people are proactively fitted with a PEG stomach tube. I wasn’t but had a nasogastric tube inserted in my 4th week. It was in place for 8 weeks. 
Have a read of this thread 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/head-neck-cancer-forum/f/diagnosis-and-treatment/287136/helpful-tips-for-those-about-to-start-treatment

Your husbands team will supply him with creams lotions mouthwashes and pain killers. 
Stay with us. 
There are lots of people here who have walked the walk and can help. 

Thankyou lovely , and congratulations on your recovery. That’s what they have told him too. Luckily he is strong so fingers crossed.

Hello fellow wife, stay with us,there are a lot of wonderful people here who have giving me support and advise. Just like your hubby,mine got diagnosed back in September, with what sound like what your husband is going through. We finished 30rounds RT and 2rounds CT new years eve. We got told from the beginning about a long bumpy road to recovery  The side effects to follow are indeed cruel. Sore throut,dry caugh, sticky saliva just a few. My hubby felt very tired and fatigue in the beginning,this is slowly easing now  and he manages to stay awake alot longer. My husband got a PEG fitted just before the treatment started,as he got told that swallowing will get hard at some point, and he still needs it, also swallowing food is becoming easier by now. I found myself crying alot at the beginning,frustrated most of the time having to watch him going through it helplessly.  But you have to be strong to help him through,I keep telling myself. Our children are all older,so it was a little easier to explain,if this is makes sense.I eventual went back to work,to get some normality. I don't know your other half, but if he's anything like mine,he mite have days where he is depressed or frustrated,because it doesn't get better as quick as he like,but you have to be patient and persevere, it will get better,for us it took about 12wks,that's where we are now. Still got a bit to go. So if at some point you both feel like that you need some space,that's OK too. At least for us it works. So take one day at the time and don't expect miracles, you will get there. And remember,unless you have already been told, this has got a very high cure rate. Hold on to that. All my best for you and your family Mel x

Ah thanks, Mel. It almost makes you feel you’re not alone when you speak to someone like you. It breaks my heart to see him suffering. He’s quite down and frustrated and takes it out on us quite a bit which is hard. it must be so hard for him knowing that this is all he thinks about. For me also I go to work as I’m a teacher. Luckily, I’ve got three weeks off soon so I will be able to look after him. I just feel scared and so many emotions are going through my head, I find myself crying a lot too. thank you so much for your advice and well done to you too you’re incredibly brave so is your husband. Bless you both .

Hi there, I felt the same in the beginning.Alone,helpless and angry atcsome point. But as time went by,you come to terms with it and find a way to live withvit. We also keep telling ourselves,we may have cancer,but it won't have us.We don't have much family around us,it's pretty much us and the kids. I can't remember how many times my husband let his frustration out at me,but I can understand the reason. All you can do is be there for each other and if it helps him to feel a little better,you can tell him from me,it's OK the way he feels,but trust it will get better. My husband was the same at the beginning,but with time going by,he's slowly turning back to his old self. Keep us updated about your journey. X

I completely understand your concerns.  My husband, 62, just completed 33 rounds of radiation for tonsil cancer that spread to the base of his tongue and soft palate.  He continued to eat throughout treatment and is doing better than I ever expected. Food tastes terrible to him and the build up of mucus near the soft palate is annoying, but he is getting by.  

We stayed with our daughter as she lives close to our treatment center and came home on weekends.  We are now home to stay and hubby is recovering.  We are told to be patient, recovery happens slowly.  Best of luck to your husband and to you and your girls.  Don't forget to take care of yourself along with taking care of him!!

Thank you lovely, I’m beginning to feel normal listening to everyone’s lovely comments. I kept saying to myself, stop being so selfish for feeling like this but you are right, we can do this and hearing what’s to come is making it easier for me as I was so scared of the unknown. Take care and Thankyou xxx

Good evening, Louisejane. I had my first head and neck cancer when i was 48, and like you and your husband, i had two teenage children. Try not to think too far ahead and take things a day at a time as we all react and recover differently. i had PEG fitted, and it sure made life easier as swallowing can become an issue, but it will return once the treatment is over and the recovery begins. i would look at least 3 months before things become more normal. I would not buy anything until you know if he needs it. Also, if needed, most things are available on prescription, especially painkillers. Your husband will have good and bad days, needing plenty of rest. I wish you all the very best for the upcoming treatment. Take care.

                                                                      Chris x

Thanks for this Chris, it’s so good of you to reply, I’m so grateful. I wish you all the best for your recovery. Bless you x

Hi louisajane. My husband is 68 and has tonsil cancer with affected lymph nodes. My husband starts his 4th week of treatment out of six tomorrow. That is 6 weeks radiotherapy with weekly chemo for 5 weeks. Indeed the side affects are tough, like thick sticky mucus and an incredibly sore throat , but they are all manageable with pain killers and rinses. He also has an ng tube for nourishment which is fortisips, basically food in a bottle. It sounds daunting and it is. Just take one day at a time and you’ll both get through this. Stay strong.

Hugs Sue x