Smokers Guilt?

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I feel almost ashamed I smoke(d).. I have a dear friend who never smoked or drank hardly but has gone through chemo and radiation for treatments of cancer in throat/esophagus. I find it hard not to blame myself and kind of feel I deserve it. Anyone else relate? I'd also want to touch on mental illness whilst dealing in another thread. Different meds, different doctors.. 

Just curious if anyone feels 'less than' from lifestyle choices as to said cause and to not feel worthy of I dunno.. Not pity, but support? Hope this makes sense.

Love to all Kissing heart

  • Hi Happymonkie

    I am also in the category of never drank or smoked, ate a healthy diet. was reasonable fit but still got jaw cancer.

    Life just sometimes hands you lemons and you just have to be philosophical about it and get on.

    Don't go down the rabbit hole of blaming yourself because you smoked. There are plenty of people out there who have smoked but not got cancer and there are plenty who have. Sometimes it is a toss of the dice. What is done is done. The thing is that with early detection most head and neck cancers are treatable. There is still an opportunity to change your lifestyle so you make healthier choices.

    Sending you positive vibes.

    Lyn

    Sophie66

  • As Lynn says.  Life sometimes appears not to be fair. 

    HPV driven H&N cancers are not caused by smoking or alcohol.  They are caused by a virus that most adults in the world carry and their bodies deal with without causing a problem.  For a very few of us (compared to the billions in the world) the body screws up and we develop cancer.  Almost certainly you can't pinpoint where the virus came from as it's so common.  Many of the said causes of infections, whilst true, only paint part of the picture.

    It's often said it's how we deal with the consequences of our actions that define us rather than how we get to that situation in the first place.   Never a truer word has been said.  And this group is great at helping us deal with those consequences.

    Don't dwell in the past, look to the future. 

    Peter
    See my profile for more details of my convoluted journey
  • I smoked from  from the ages of 14 to 40 also enjoyed a tipple, sometimes far too much, stopped that at 40 also, but I don't feel guilty, such habits are easy to start and very hard to quit, education on alcohol, drugs and nicotine addiction was pretty well non existent in the 60's....

    Mental health also takes a hit during cancer treatment ...for all involved, patients, family, carers....and NHS staff

    Peter

  • Hi don’t beat yourself up about the what ifs. You can’t change them so concentrate on the what next. You're wasting time an energy just concentrate on treatment. 

    Hazel 

    Hazel aka RadioactiveRaz 

    My blog is www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com  HPV 16+ tonsil cancer Now  6 years  post treatment. 35 radiotherapy 2 chemo T2N2NM.Happily getting on with living always happy to help

    2 videos I’ve been involved with raising awareness of HNC and HPV cancers 

    https://www.instagram.com/merckhealthcare/reel/DBs8Y0niJ8N/

  • Wow.. Thanks for the replies.. Means so much.. Hugging

  • Good evening Happymonkie, please dont feel ashamed, i smoked and had a drink but back then it was part of life for many of us plus there was not so much publicity or awareness of the dangers of this, to be honest, i never knew oral/mouth cancer existed until i was diagnosed with it, however, my consultant said to me not to beat myself up about it you dont have to be a smoker or drinker to get cancer it just part of our lives. When i was working in a shipyard welding was never a cause for alarm but nowadays it is classed as smoking. The main issue is that nobody ever thinks they are going to get cancer and when they do they start to blame it on their lifestyle even what they eat. I know what you mean and did find it easier when i had a few sessions with a councillor as sometimes its easier to tell people you have never met your issues. all the best, take care.

                                                                                      Chris 

    Its sometimes not easy but its worth it ! 

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