Hi I’m Hazel was 61 when diagnosed similar to your hubby was fit had just cycled 1100 km happily getting in with life noticed a lump on neck and the rest was history. It’s hard but how cancers respond extremely well to treatment. Blogs below might help any question which am sure you will have just ask. Often men don’t join forums it’s there other half’s that do. We  are all here to help. One word if he’s offered a feeding tube take it often men don’t want it he can’t be brave about it and think ok I’ll nit need it. It’s rare for anyine to complete treatment without it. My feeding tube was my  lifesaver it helped me recover well and in scheme if things quickly. 
Enjoy trip  away remember to advise your insurance company as well. I go away quite a lot at least 2 x8 week trips a year. Life’s good I’m 5 years post treatment there a good life to be had. 
hugs Hazel ps you’ll be scared it’s only  natural but HNC respond well. I had 7 lymph nodes s but no surgery it’s up to your oncol. I had 35 radiotherapy and 2 of planned 3 chemo it’s the gold standard treatment at the moment. 

Hi

u have just been through exactly the same journey as your husband. I’m 56 and had 6 weeks radiotherapy x 30 sessions and 2 chemo sessions in week 1 and 4. I’m now 13 weeks post treatment. No dissection. 

it has helped me to be on this forum as you can check that what you are experiencing is ‘normal’. People who have come through it and come out the other side are really generous with their time and advice - it’s been so useful. 

it’s hard I won’t lie - for both of you. My partner and I actually split up in the process. So my advice would be to get lots of rest and expect that your husband will be very ill for at least 4 weeks after the treatment and it will be exhausting for you too. 

If you want to ask me anything else I’d be happy to help. There is also a carers forum which I would recommend - my partner didn’t join it but I think it may have helped him cope better. 

Good news is - I’m so much better now - so you do come through the other side. I’ve still got hurdles to overcome - as other members very wisely say it’s a marathon not a sprint. 

all the very best 
Rachel x 

Thanks for your reply Hazel it was very helpful. I will definitely read your blog.

Hi and welcome from me.  I was 61 when I found a lump and up until now I've "just" had surgery.  Very similar to your husband, but my tumour kept on disappearing and reappearing for 4 years.  I have had 8 surgeries thus far including 2 dissections.  All lymph nodes removed from one side whilst looking for the cancer.  I found the dissections easy to cope with and after a longish recovery period not really limiting in any way.  Each of us is different to the scope of side effects and our recovery.

Potentially, if the surgery can remove the tumour and there are clear margins then RT and chemo will not be needed at this stage.  Be guided by your clinical team.  H&N cancer in the lymph nodes, especially if HPV+, is not like mets elsewhere as the lymphs are doing their job.  Whatever you do don't Google neck dissection.  Most of the information is out of date and antiquated procedures used.  You would have to look hard to see my scars.

I got diagnosed in 2019 and 2 days later went to the USA for a pre-planned 3 1/2 week holiday.  Best thing I did!  Just confirm with your travel insurance that they will cover you (they may exclude the cancer but it is unlikely that will cause a problem whilst away).

I do have an unusual cancer journey, but feel free to check my profile.

Thank you Rachel. It does really help learning of other people's experiences. Yes definitely a marathon and I'm so glad you are feeling better now. Gail x

Thank you Peter this is very reassuring esp re dissection. I've just read your profile you definitely have been on a journey. All.the best to you. Gail 

Hi Gail

T2N1M0 tonsil cancer  30 Radiotherapy + 4 Chemo....diagnosed Feb 2023 finished treatment June 2023

No hiding from it.... treatment is very challenging.... lots of ups and downs on the way...we just have to get our heads down and hang in there....there is an end to the discomfort and hassle....things return to a new normal....then through time something nearer to the normal we are used to.

October we went for a luxury short break to celebrate my PEG tube removal, later during the month we holidayed in Tenerife, had another short break in Dec.

Playing golf again....Eating out is a treat we can now enjoy, taste is slowly returning, mid/post CRT treatment I never thought any of this would be possible.

Best of Luck

Peter

Thanks Peter I appreciate your reply. Finding everyone's perspective  helpful  

Hi gailywaily 62 

Theres lots of info here already but I thought I’d pop on to welcome you here too. I can add that HPV driven cancer is curable with cure rates in excess of 90% and lymph node metastasis from a small primary is the classic presentation. So hold onto that. 
My tongue cancer wasn’t resectable so I had radiotherapy but with no nodal spread I avoided chemotherapy. 
Not everybody with node disease has neck resection and it is something to discuss with your husbands oncologist but with a base of tongue cancer he us going to get radiation to both sides of his neck which would take care of any lymph nodes. It’s worth asking if that is an option. 
Please stay with us. Remember CURE and enjoy your trip to Kracow. It is a beautiful city. I hope you have time to visit the Wielicza Salt Mine too  

Best wishes 

Thank you Dani your blog was one of the first ones I read on here. So much help and Inspiration. I am definitely going to hold on the first paragraph of your reply.Best wishes Gail x