Husband just diagnosed with upper tracheal cancer, what questions should I ask?

Love you Dani, your being so much help and so sweet and just giving me the facts about it all. Doctors are just so up and down in their opinions. Straight question.... How long do you think he's got with just RT twice a week? Don't worry I know there's a lot of variables to consider for a time scale but I'm wondering if what I'm thinking is somewhere near.  Worst case 3-4 months, best case 2-3years. Be straight with your thoughts. Xxx

Oh Jasper. I wish I could help more. Like you say there are so many variables. It all depends on where the cancer has invaded already. I presume the reason for the tracheostomy is that it has obstructed his breathing. So it can’t be years. 
Your reply to Tony really struck a cord.
I’ll open up here though it’s hard. My first marriage was to a very clever, self opinionated and proud gregarious  man. We were soul mates and ours was a roller coaster life too. It was incredibly difficult at times and though I loved him I actually was relieved when he passed away. Is that a horrible thing to say? Maybe but who outside could know what our life was like. 
All you can do is support him in his decision. You’ll both need help so get his oncologist to get your GP onside for practical support, and explore Hospice care sooner rather than later 

Macmillan have a group for people supporting others with incurable cancer. You might find some help there

 Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum 

Stay with us. Happy to chat any time 

Oh no I was thinking the same thing! His passing is a new chapter for me! I'm so glad you understand! Exactly the same situation. I love him so much but I'm excited as well! I feel so guilty to think it though! And I'm scared of him coming home in-between as to how he's going to be with me. (Very possessive and manipulative) this last week while he's been in hospital I've chilled out so much but I also want him home!!! Arghhh!!! And yeah who on the outside could know or understand because they are so nice and charismatic to others  xxx

Hi hugs from me. Dani is the right person for you to speak with. But all of us will listen and help if we can. 

Hazel xx

Hi Jasper, I feel so sorry for you but as far as I can help is that unfortunately I am a very practical MAN who just has to get on with things, I had little choice to be honest with my circumstances my Consultant is a very practical and forthright Lady and explained fully the pros and cons of my Cancer and the treatments available, she made it quite clear as to the options and the pit falls that can happen, added to that I really didn’t have much time to dwell on the matter as unlike to present day we were still in Lockdown so admission into the hospital was very quick.

I have to say please keep talking to Dani as you both seem to have hit it off in similar circumstances, it is a big change to anyone’s life as I have found out but luckily I was able to work through both my Cancer treatments and I think that stopped me being a complete pig with my darling wife who has had to put up with the odd tantrum which is really frustration with the situation, particularly when the valve gets clogged and you can’t talk

I wish you all my best thoughts and will leave you in the most capable hands of Dani

All my very best, Tony

Thank you Hazel, appreciate it. Xx

Caz xxx

 Jasper8250 you can always private message me if you want a chat off forum. Xx

Didn't know you could do that tbh. Would love to! Just spoke to him and things have changed again slightly I'm going out for a bit then I'll be home. Thanks Dani.

Caz xx

Just click/tap on my name which takes you to my profile page. Click/tap on the + There’s a drop down menu for  you to select send private message. 
Good luck with whatever is happening 

Thank you Toni, I appreciate the comments. I'm not trying to be nasty and I am very understanding of his situation but there's a lot of water under the bridge between us I'll keep chatting to Dani and see what happens from here. Everyday the way they are going to do things keep changing so until they decide exactly what they're doing I'm going to try and chill out a bit. 

Caz xxx