Husband just diagnosed with upper tracheal cancer, what questions should I ask?

I'm getting so many conflicting diagnosis now!!  He's got trans glottis cancer T3N0M0, he has a tracheostomy in now. one hospital has said total laryngectomy with 4 weeks radiotherapy. He got transferred to another hospital (we're very rural) they have said only radiotherapy twice a week and he has a 5 year survival rate!!!  They're sending him home next week for 2 weeks before they start radiation. Who's right, my emotions are through the roof!! I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster!!! 

Are either of your hospitals cancer centres? 

I think you might need a second opinion urgently. That’s what I would be seeking. 
Im very rural but I just had to travel to be treated at a major cancer centre. 

The second one is more of a cancer centre but the first one was supposed to be liasing with them all along! I rang MacMillan helpline for advice but tbh no help at all  having an emotional breakdown right now. Xx

Can you say where the second hospital is? 
Whereabouts are you in the country? 

If you are anywhere near a major cancer centre like Leeds, The Christie, or The Marsden you have the right to a second opinion if they have space. If the first hospital was more of a general hospital it might be that their opinion was just more optimistic as they aren’t specialist. In any case you need an informed diagnosis. 
I wish I could offer more help than this. 

He's gone from Barrow in Furness to Preston hospital. Ok just spoke to Preston. He's refused Laryngectomy, which we'd discussed and I expected. He's due to come home for 2 wks to relax then do 2 days a week radiotherapy. Just wondering if this is more palliative care than curing care?

Yes it will be palliative. His refusal of laryngectomy is  why the treatment has changed Curative radiotherapy is usually 6 weeks of daily treatment. 
This is a really difficult decision for both of you. My first husband had a laryngectomy and did very well for ten years before dying from something else. 
I’m not trying to change his mind but you can always look at the laryngectomy association website where you can see how well people live. If chances of cure with surgery and radiotherapy are good ………. ? Worth a second thought. 
I’ll tag one of our other members who might be able to help 

 Kasvin 

Hi Jasper, I had a notification that Dani had been helping/supporting you with your Husbands cancer and not wanting to have a Laryngectomy, as you will see I am a Laryngectomy of 3 years, I can understand his big concerns and of thinking it’s awful but as he already has the trachy he is half way there, the cancer is obviously in or around his voicebox so it is easier and simpler to remove that and as in my case the cancer is completely removed with it, they may offer RT after but I refused.

Unfortunately the RT causes so much damage to the Oesophagus that swallowing and eating becomes a very big problem for a longer period than the operation, if you can convince him the operation would be far better than RT then it would also help you. I cannot guarantee he will have a voice after as I am not privileged to what he had done previously, but he should ask if they can fit a voice valve as I have and you speak the same as you always did prior to the cancer and operation.

Radiotherapy is the most destructive part of Cancer treatment, I have had it and Chemo for my second cancer and was so glad I didn’t have it for the throat as it destroys so much tissue.

Feeling for you and your Husband, take care and I am always here if you or your Husband needs further info

Best wishes, Tony

Thank you for your reply Tony. I'll look further into the situation. Unfortunately there are some other parameters affecting the decision of a Laryngectomy aswell. I won't say too much on here but I will say the personal situation between us is also extremely complicated and confusing, he is also a very complicated and confusing man aswell with very, very high morals, stubbornness and pride in his appearance. Let's say 30 years with him has been a dangerous rollercoaster of a ride!  

I love him so much and he is my soul mate but I honestly don't think he would cope with life that's not completely "normal" as he says, and full on. He says he'd rather die and I respect that decision.