What’s happened

Oh Pugmama I’m so sorry this has happened to you and your family. There’s a cohort of HPV positive cancer that has already metastasised around the body before the primary is even found. It’s too small to see on scans. Immunotherapy can work really well fir a couple of years. I know the chances are slim but I would grasp them with both hands. You have nothing to lose. I hope this works. 
Do you have any help from your GP? You need to look after yourself too. 

There is a group here for people looking after terminal patients. You could look to join that one too 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/supporting-someone-with-incurable-cancer-forum

I really hope you can find a way through this. 
Best wishes 

Oh dear Pugmama so so sorry  hear your   sad news. As Daninsays immunotherapy is having some good results in extending people life expectancy.Inhooe they can sort your wife’s pain meds out,and you are  getting help. 
All I can offer is hugs from my family to yours 

Hazel x

Hi the oncologist told me how long they thought she had but my wife doesn’t know as she doesn’t want to know.

I’ve not received any help from anyone professionally just friends saying they are here for me but that’s frustrating as they can’t actually do anything I have a lot of hate especially when I hear someone for example say “ oh I’ve got a sore head” I’m like WTF 

I think what gets to me is at the beginning the Drs were so positive and said they will make her sick to make her better then when the couldn’t see cancer in the throat it was like ya dancer then we were brought back to reality.

im not sure how to look after my wife when she gets sicker and I just worry I will find her dead. It’s in my mind all the time

Hi Do you have a Maggies cancer centre near by ? Or if you didn’t know let us know where you are e and will see where your nearest one is. Was your  wife allocated  a clinical nurse or a Macmillian nurse ? I still use my Macmillian nurse for help and information if needed. You shouldn’t be going through this alone uts so sad. Our type  cancer h p v positive usually does have an excellent response  sadly as Dani said  earlier it seems like your wife’s had already spread, as the tiny tiny cells woukd have been too small for original scans to pick up.

Hazel

Unknown said:

I’ve not received any help from anyone professionally just friends saying they are here for me but that’s frustrating as they can’t actually do anything

Give the Macmillan support line a ring. The number is at the end of my post. They can at least direct you to where you can get help. 

She has a cancer nurse at the hospital but just for appointments and stuff. We do have Maggies as well but I’m just not sure what help it is we need. it’s difficult cos both my wife and I will have different needs and would ask different things but she doesn’t really like being away from me. 

Thank you I think from Monday when she’s referred to pal care we will have a nurse to help. I think I heard somewhere that in my area it’s Marie Carrie who does that care 

Hi If you could maybe call into Maggie s and speak to someone they may be able to talk through the next stages with you so yoh have an idea of what’s next. I do hope you both get some help on Monday. Keep popping on here if only to rant we’re ok with listening to you vent .Hope you have a close friend not family to speak ti as well. 
Hazel x

Marie Curie are really excellent in what they do. I hope you get all you need