The waiting game...

Hi Sharon well done on hubby getting through treatment. The 50/50 can happen i had minev at 18 weeks to try and avoid that the longer  between scan and treatment finishing the chance of hot spots lessens Lookingvat your timeline he’s going to be quite a way on to the 18 weeks so try not to worry  

Theres not much anyone can do it’s a waiting game from start to finish  just try-keep him busy. Box set  going out for short walks  

It’s totally normal for his mouth not to feel normal I am almost 3 years post and my mouth is 95% normal but it’s taken a long time. I still get dry mouth at nighttime and on off occasions food can be a problem but that rare. As for questions  be honest it’s a waiting game theres not too much the oncologist can do apart from reassure him the success rate is high. I was T2N2NM and ti be honest from the moment oncologist said cure I never doubted him. One of the reason s his throat etc feels lumpy the treatment is brutal and it take time for everything to settle down. Maybe get him to glance at our blogs to see how life does get better theres links to others as well. 
normal life does get there just takes time. 
Hazel xx

Hi Sharon. I’m nearly 5 months post treatment for tonsillar cancer and my mouth and throat area still feeling lumpy, stingy sometimes and generally not normal. I had an MRI scan a couple of weeks ago and all was apparently fine but my throat and neck still feel weird. I’ve just accepted that I’m never going to feel ‘normal’ again and am just curious to know what my new normal is going to be. Having spoken to some who’ve been before me in here, however, I know that moment may take many years to arrive. It’s brilliant that hubby is totally off painkillers. He must be doing really well! Recovery takes a long time and may never fully materialise, so we just have to accept that life is going to be different from hereon in. If he is preoccupied and constantly worrying it may be that he needs to rebalance seratonin levels in his brain. (I did.) I now take 10mg of Citilopram daily on the advice of  my GP and it really helps. Worth thinking about. Keep up the good work.  It can be so so hard for supporting partners. 

Hi Sharon well done on hubby getting through treatment. The 50/50 can happen i had minev at 18 weeks to try and avoid that the longer  between scan and treatment finishing the chance of hot spots lessens Lookingvat your timeline he’s going to be quite a way on to the 18 weeks so try not to worry  

Theres not much anyone can do it’s a waiting game from start to finish  just try-keep him busy. Box set  going out for short walks  

It’s totally normal for his mouth not to feel normal I am almost 3 years post and my mouth is 95% normal but it’s taken a long time. I still get dry mouth at nighttime and on off occasions food can be a problem but that rare. As for questions  be honest it’s a waiting game theres not too much the oncologist can do apart from reassure him the success rate is high. I was T2N2NM and ti be honest from the moment oncologist said cure I never doubted him. One of the reason s his throat etc feels lumpy the treatment is brutal and it take time for everything to settle down. Maybe get him to glance at our blogs to see how life does get better theres links to others as well. 
normal life does get there just takes time. 

Have you thought about seeing your g p many cancer patients do take a course of antidepressants. Especially head and neck patients.  Just a thought. 
Hazel xx

Thank you Hazel. 
I will try and get him to have a look at others blogs but he is reluctant but worth a try. Thank you for your comments and I think the key point is probably getting used to a new kind of normal whatever that might be with regards to foods and how is mouth/throat feel. I know he is still only two months  post treatment so still early days. It’s nice to come on here and see we are not alone and thank you again. 
Sharon x

Hi Sharon no problem   I am me I’m still the same me it’s just my mouth isn’t quite me. If that makes sense. It’s a brutal treatment but better than the alternative he will get there. Do have a think about seeing g p.I was just it I never got down or doubted the treatment . Please keep in touch we all try to help each other. 
As for food try and get him to treat it as fuel filling his body it’s not for enjoyment yet it will come. Meat takes a while but fir me probably pork is the hardest which is no hardship. 
Hazel 

Hi Mark,

Thank you for your reply and I am pleased to hear that your MRI results have been positive. I know George is only two months post treatment but as you say the normal may just be a new normal         going forward but at this stage I guess it is just too early to know. Thanks for your comments and it helps to know that we are not the only ones. Good luck with you continued recovery and thank you again for your response. It certainly is hard as a partner especially the times of just helplessness but we will get there, wherever there is.  
thank you again

Sharon 

Hi Sharon. Agree with the others. It’s just time. The fear of more cancer stays with you but it lessens. My oncologist said I’d have to live with it and he’s right. I promise it gets better. After our doctors have done their best whether we survive or not is down to luck snd out of our control. I’m over two years out of treatment and apart from a dry mouth I can do all the things I ever did before I got ill. 
This is an esssy by Dr Peter Harvey who is a psychologist  Have a look at it. It goes a long way to summarising how we feel 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Best wishes 

That does make sense Hazel and I like your way of thinking, a very positive outlook which is great. 
I will keep in touch and thank you again. 
Sharon x

My pleasure Sharon. If ever he wants to talk about it to someone who’s recently been through it he’s very welcome to get in touch. Keep strong. M

Hi Dani,

Thank you very much for your reply. The information was very useful and highlights some really useful points so thank you. Today’s appointment has all been positive and they are going to sign posy George to some zoom calls that might help with the mental side of recovery. We are very lucky to have such an amazing team of professionals to help us through this tough journey.  

Thank you again and I am pleased to hear that you are doing well after your own treatment. 

Kind regards

Sharon