Panic attacks after chemo

So sorry you are feeling like this Ali

I think it’s the “being out of control” but that hits us all undergoing this treatment so badly. I tried to work on the fact that although this was all new to me my team did stuff like this every day and they were trying to cure me. You CAN take small steps one day at a time. Have you got family members to pitch in, even if only for frequent cuddles. 
A few of us here started blogs as a sort of way to cope with not being in control. You don’t have to publish it but  most of us did. It might give you some place to rant regularly. Just a thought. Hang on in there it’s doable. Im 13 months out of RT, looking and feeling normal, well as normal as a 69 year old lady can 

PS

I didn’t get chemo but there are plenty of people here who will come along with coping mechanisms fir that. 
The other thing to recognise is that the mainstay of treatment is RT. The chemo increases it’s efficacy by some 5% only. It’s belt and braces. If it really makes you ill there is always the choice of not having the full course. Your team can discuss that with you. 

I have bipolar affective disorder, so I am extremely careful to protect my mental health. I have some diazepam tablets, only 2mgs, and I can take one when I am unexpectedly panicky, e.g. suddenly discovering I was claustrophobic in the head scanner; having a bad reaction to Cyclizine.

I will randomly throw ideas at you, knowing that advice can be very annoying, but hoping something might be useful:

It’s ok to be terrified when something is terrifying! Try setting aside a time to let yourself be frightened and try screaming it out of your system (maybe warn the neighbours first!)

I don’t know in how much detail you know all about your cancer and treatment, but I have found that getting every bit of information available has been useful.

Music can be great. I have a playlist entitled “Onward” with fighting and winning songs on it (my favourite is Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down”)

Ditto a playlist of calming music.

Tell people! Tell everybody who you think might care. You’d be amazed at how people want to help. They can help carry you through it, just with texts and messages.

 Mindfulness is brilliant if it’s your cup of tea. I have experienced a sort of enforced mindfulness, thinking I was going to die this year, which means I am happy just to be alive and breathe. I wish I’d realised this before!

Find stuff you can keep around you that helps you focus on what a totally fantastic person you are; the sort of person who fights through cancer and wins! This could be a certificate of a course you’ve passed; an object from a holiday you enjoyed; something you’ve created; something that reminds you of a time you were happy and felt safe; wear your most stompy boots for fighting in, or your softest socks for comfort.

Onward! You can do it!

xx

Hi Ali I can only echo what @Beesuit said I too felt I had no control over what was an uncontrollable situation so I did a blog initially for friends and family I since published it and now have had close to 19,000 views and many many contacts .I am now 18 month post radiotherapy I did yoga breathing ecer isss  to get me through it plus took my head off mentally for s bike ride or a favourite walk anything to distract. 

I did have chemo 2 out of 3 sessions my lump has disappeared so in consultation with oncologist took decision not to have the 3 to chemo approx 2/3 rd of patients don’t have it .I got the ni sign so if any cancer in January last year and am living my life .

hope this helps I was 61 when diagnosed and now 63 .

Hazel xx

Thank you so much, you don’t know how much your words have helped. One thing you have inspired me to do is make a poster of all the positive quotes/messages I’ve been sent so I can see them I one place. They really do help to give me strength and if I can see them all in one place I think that would really help. 

Im definitely feeling stronger in body and mind every day, I was not prepared for how the brutal the chemo would be, I know it effects us all differently but the drugs really effected my mind. 

Thank you for your support xxxx

Thank you. Yes, it’s definitely being out of control that’s so scary, I was never prepared for how the drugs effect you so much mentally. On the plus side feeling stronger each day, physically and mentally. 

I was never aware that the chemo only increased efficiency by 5%. I’m just hoping that they say I don’t have to have the dex tablets next time, I’m sure that’ll make do much difference. 

Thank you for your support xxx

Ali, what are the dex tablets? Check the side effects and if panic/anxiety is one of them, then you can ask to either have something else or not have them at all.

Dex is a steroid ( a cortisone rather than an anabolic) and mood changes is one of the most common side effects. 

Uggh! Thanks for explaining, Dani. Yes, steroids are a big no-no for me. 

Ali2020, Dani (Beesuit) has just explained to me that Dex are steroids. You can simply refuse to have them (I have just discussed all this with the oncologist and she’s fine with it). Some of us simply can not tolerate the side effects of steroids. There are different things they can give instead.

Metaphorically holding your hand.

x