Oesophageal Cancer

Hi. So sorry to read about your husbands diagnosis but you have come to the right place to get support. I think we have all found that the initial news and then the detailed diagnostic stages are perhaps the worst part of the process. Timescales vary across the various NHS trusts  but I would suggest an average for the diagnostic stage is say 3 weeks and treatment would normally commence in perhaps around 4 weeks later. Some proceed to surgery with or without pretreatment  and some just have treatment. It all depends on the diagnosis. Your best advisers will be those that have followed a similar path to what will be proposed for your husband. I am one of those that had surgery and was diagnosed 3 years ago at the age of 79. No one gets a quick fix and few find the process easy  but there are a lot of positive stories out there. So my message is stay positive and patient. I hope things go well for you both.

ItI comes as a bit of a shock to say the least ! Everything will fall into place bit by bit he will have a load of tests for them to give him a staging I was T3 N0M0 which if you look on the macmillan site it will explain this to you! Don’t look on Google it will frighten you to death !!! I was lucky that mine was curative and had my surgery in March and now feeling fit a well some are not but there are so many options and even if surgery is not one of them go on to live active lives. Anglars is the wise old chap of this group and I second his advice to you ! Stay strong it’s often worse for the partners Tricia xx

1. Hi , sorry to hear yous are going through this . I found out i had the same cancer in febuary , i was 49 . My mum had the same cancer 5 years ago , we both had four lots of chemo , the op , then four more chemo . Mums was worse than mine but her op wasxa success but hers come back two years later to her brain and it was in covid time so they couldnt , wouldnt do much i looked after her at home till she passed . Im now four weeks past my last chemo , ive had a cough , and they testing for aspiration but im slowly recovering . They took 48 lynth nodes when doing asophagectomy and they were clear . Posativaty is key , i have young children and ive had to stay posative for them but ofcourse i was scared . I pray to my mum im not into god , but it calms me . Im now eating better but have lost lots of weight but thats ok . I wish u all the best x there are so many positive storys on here and ive rang mcmillan loads to talk to them for support etc x all my love to you and your family ... tony .

Thank you Anglars, 

• All that information is useful as we don’t know how long is too long when waiting for tests. It’s amazing that at 79 you went through all this and it’s really wonderful to hear it. I appreciate your support very much. Meanwhile we sit and wait ! 

Hello Tricia, 

Everyone is very kind to reply so fast. I’m so happy that you’ve had a good result and are feeling well. The surgery seems to be the best thing if you can have it as you say. Even though it’s sounds terrifying. No I’ve stopped Googling, there’s no point as I’m not a medic and don’t understand most of the jargon. And it’s too wise ranging to help really. Putting my faith in the NHS and hanging in there . Ann 

Hi Tony, 

• your message was so moving and my heart goes out to you. You are so young and coping with this with a young family must be unbelievably tough. And your poor mum going through the same illness. My mum died in 2019 after a horrific time with anal cancer. So much stress and sadness on your shoulders. I talk to my mum a lot and wish she were here. It’s great to know you are recovering and the tests were clear. My husband is the positive type and I’m pretty tough so we will give it our all. I will be keen to know how everyone is doing as time passes. Love to all , Ann 

Hi. My husband has also just been diagnosed. We met the consultant on Christmas Eve and they have offered chemo and immunotherapy. We are just waiting for the appointment to come now for the start of treatment, which should be the first week of January. 

My husband is being so brave, I’m in bits, but wait until he’s asleep or I’m in the bathroom before I have a cry.  

I have noticed that his eating has deteriorated so now he is only on a liquid diet.  I’m struggling to think of different types of soups I can make to help him keep interested in eating. I’ve bought a blender and a sieve.  Honey and turmeric to add to milk for an evening drink (as suggested by the consultant). First night of trying this.  Any advice would be so welcomed.  

it’s breaking my heart as he loved his food and I feel so guilty eating proper food in front of him,  but he tells me to.  

Really hope that the chemo and immunotherapy will help him. I had my first cycle of this 10 days and it went really well, so i hope it will be the same for your husband.

I am sorry I am late in replying and know that a month down the road things will feel a little different to how they did when you wrote your post. 

similarly to you I was the one who did all the research, it is sometimes difficult being on the other side of the diagnosis, we see our loved one coping in a way that we do not always understand, but it is important that you talk to each other, because to hide our feeling as a way of protecting each other can cause us problems a little down the line. 

Mu husband and I always talked about what we were thinking and feeling, he being so much more level headed and positive than I.  

The positive thing to keep in mind is the treatment for OC has come on leaps and bounds over the past few years, research is fine, but please ensure it is up to date or the scare factor may keep you awake at night. The cancer research site and this site have so much up to date stuff, it is probably better to check in on these than hunt for anything and everything. 

Life may never be the same again, but it can in some ways be better, appreciating every second of everyday, making plans and carrying them through, taking the time to do everything together that you can, something we sometimes forget to do,

Wishing your husband every success with the treatment and wishing you strength. 

If you would like to consider other forums for support also, there is Family and Friends which is a great support as others are in a similar situation,  and the Room which is a place to rant should you feel you need, then leave it behind

And remember the Macmillan team are here to support both you and your husband and can be called on the number in my signature, if you ever need to chat to someone. 

Lowe'

Hi JacquiT

just to say, thinking of you at this time, it is very early on for you, your emotions will understandably be all over the place. 

Once treatment starts, hopefully you will both experience things differently 

Take a look, if it helps, at the forums I noted in the above post, there is a great deal of support available to all. 

Lowe'