Hello, I’m 26 years old and my dear sweet grandfather, who was more as a father figure to me was diagnosed with Stage 3 Oesophageal cancer last June 2024. He was only 66. He suffered from muscular dystrophy which affected his throat anyways so this was a weak spot. He fought really hard and went through extensive radio and chemotherapy. Unfortunately due to the muscular dystrophy an operation wasn’t possible. In February we found out that the treatment was not working and the cancer had spread into his lymph nodes and stomach and was now terminal. He became sick with a chest infection on the 14th of May, was admitted into a&e and given antibiotics which looked promising. He came home on the 16th. He had a fall on the 18th and was taken back to hospital where they had confirmed his chest infection had turned septic and his cancer had progressed. After another week in hospital on antibiotics, they did nothing. The pain got worse, and he had enough and wanted to come home. He came home on the 24th and passed away with all of us around on the 28th. I’m just so devastated. It was less than a year from diagnosis to death and I just don’t think I’ve processed that I was going to lose him in this time. I know it’s only been 2 days since his death but I’m just really struggling. I have never lost anyone in my life, and especially not to cancer. The journey was wicked, horrible and so confusing and I just don’t know where to go from here.
Hi
I’m so sorry for your loss .Your Grandfather sounds like he was a very brave man .God bless him 
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I’m 64 so just a bit younger than your Grandfather .My Dad was a teenager when I was born so we kind of grew up together if that makes any sense ? and he was still a young person in my eyes . I lost him in August of last year after a battle with Cancer .Seven weeks after his diagnosis , the spread was so advanced they couldn’t treat him .I still can’t understand how a person can carry on living their life normally , then go into hospital due to a fall , and literally overnight you find out they have terminal cancer ? But sadly that’s exactly what happened , totally out of the blue .
Right now you are in the early days of grief .Everything is still raw .You’re not only devastated but you’re in shock too .I was exactly the same. I relived the trauma of those seven weeks over and over again ! .Lots of what if’s ! The mind goes on overdrive .
Gradually you do start to process the situation and make some sense of it all .Yes it’s very cruel and so so unfair but it was a situation totally out of your control .Gradually the trauma of what you saw your Grandfather go through will lessen .You will start to remember the man that he was and all the happy memories you made together .I can now remember my Dad and smile .If someone had told me that 9 months ago I would’ve found it very hard to believe .
Be kind to yourself .You’ve just had a massive shock which will take time for you to come to terms with .
There’s no time limit either so take as long as you need .
Sending love and hugs
J x
