how hell do you cope even tapping this tears are falling i just so angry and all hospital people i see as the bad people i just don't know to move on i know got to he scared im just terrified of being alone not even older enough to retire yet he had 3 years ago what was all life about retired at 67 and than got cancer at 69 now he just coming up to 70 and end how do keep going while u watch everyday he falls slower worse and your suppose to keep going . one thing he has said he wants to die at home and i told him no that's not happening hospice nearer the time he don't want be round people he don't know but his sons who still live here don't want him to die here his son 38l22 youngest so we already got conflict i wanted to take him for 1 last hol abroad but the stupid doctor said he would not cope with flight to Türkiye so i clam down on than not bloody England so we don't talk its me i know I'm angry hurt but he must be too more scared but he does not have such soft heart as me quite down earth man when she ask him long do think you got he said joke Christmas she said sorry no earlier than that it was like ground opened he just carry on talking i walked out sorry someone tell me how
