Husband has inoperable Stage 3 OC following op complications

Firstly you are an angel and my wholehearted love goes out to you and your husband 

I don’t have experience of your situation but can only imagine the stress and anxiety is causing you and your husband however this website is fantastic and there will be someone who has experienced it and will be able to help you so keep a lookout for messages coming in and also look on Cancer UK that’s fantastic too for forum and they have asked a nurse and that may be very helpful for you so ring them up and talk to him about it as I know from my experience with my husband speaking to someone confidentially is so important and and and such a relief and a comfort sending they’re all fantastic treatments available don’t give up. There’s something will turn up for you and make life much better and there will be a future. Stay positive and strong lots of love

rona

xxxx

Thank you Rona. It does feel like it's all stacking up against us right now but there are small wins along the way. I hold onto them with both hands and remind him of what he can do now compared to just a few days ago. 

Thank you for your positive words. 

Paula

I think trying to focus on the little wins is the best strategy although I have to say, in the middle of a sleepless night, that's easier to recommend than implement. My husband was also hit with an inexplicable months-long delay between diagnosis to treatment starting, during which time his tumour went from curable to terminal. We wrote to PALS but they didn't answer the question. 

I think you should look into what financial support might be available to you: I think Macmillan or Maggie's can help with this. My GP was good enough to sign me off work for six months due to the stress.

Try and find some respite for yourself. Caring for a loved one is emotional hard work but you are doing a fantastic job. 

Thank you for your kind words. We have the benefits in place now but they sadly don't cover everything that we need to pay out. Of course, something is better than nothing.

PALS have ignored our complaints too. 

It's such a rollercoaster. Anger, resentment, anxiety, guilt, failure etc, etc! All whilst trying to remain positive on the outside. 

What can you recommend by way of coping strategies? How do you buoy your husband up when things are hard?

I think it's individual. My husband died of sepsis before he'd finished his first lot of chemotherapy which really knocked him back. It was hard to distract him (the 6-months of oral thrush didn't help), but visits from old friends and our children, sitting in the garden in the sun, reading the newspaper and going for short walks, things he'd enjoyed before becoming unwell, all helped. He was a poet and when he was writing a new poem in his last creative burst it really took his mind off things.

PS my coping strategy was red wine. Now it's digging our allotment and planting huge quantities of veggies that  I will have to share with others.

stay with the group people will reply there is a future and many different treatment someone will have experienced the saame or similar the forums are a huge support

huge hugs and kisses

rona

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

I'm glad he had the chance to enjoy the 'small' things that we so easily take for granted. And that he was still creative to the end. 

I wish I was a neighbour to benefit from your veggie growing:-)

Lots of love.