Refusing nutrition

Hi 

I really feel your pain, my husband is currently in hospital, he got a temperature and I had to take him in hospital on Thursday, they initially thought sepsis  and he is being treated for an infection, he has had five chemo sessions, the last was due tomorrow. He constantly feels sick and his intake of food has been horrendous since chemo three. He has the smallest amounts of food and I mean, bit ice cream, he has ascites and is currently holding about five litres of fluid that will hopefully be drained tomorrow. 
we have been told the chemo has shrunk the 2cm oesophageal tumour but the liver tumour has grown so all chemo stopped and nothing more can be done, he is really struggling with his blood pressure right now putting pressure on his heart. 
It’s so heart breaking to watch, I’m sorry I can’t give you the answers, I have realised he will only have what he wants and I don’t force him anymore. 
you sound like you have definitely been through it in the last seven weeks, what a massive shock, very sad

Know one thing you are never alone on here, we are all here to help, and support and without others on here to talk to I am not sure how I would have got to this point.

Take care xxx

Hi, 

I'm so sorry about everything you're both going through. I think you need to speak to your husband about the interventions he wants and doesn't. This can be recorded in his hospital and GP notes, also make sure you carry a copy with you for appointments and if you have to attend A&E. He should have the option of a nasal feeding tube if he wants that, so he could be fed overnight. It works well, but needs to be his choice. My husband tolerated his well and the feeds stopped the weight loss. It would give him more time, but won't improve the quality apart from getting nutrition. The district nurses will make sure you have the support at home that you need. If he needs care overnight speak to macmillan as there are charities that can provide care so you can get your sleep. I was putting this in place when I was caring for my father-in-law, but never got to use it as he declined quickly at the end. I think a long discussion with you, your husband and your clinical nurse specialist would get a lot of things sorted. They will help guide the conversation to make sure you both have the opportunity to say how you see the next few weeks/months working out. I hope this has been helpful and you get a plan in place. Take care, Stephanie. 

I’m so sorry to hear what a horrendous time you and your husband are going through. I hope they can get him more comfortable and back home with you soon.

Sending hugs xxx

Thank you for this Stephanie.

We have completed a Respect form that states no more hospital admission, DNR, manage care at home and hospice for end of life. This was written with a Sue Ryder (cancer charity) nurse.

we don’t have a clinical nurse specialist, but I will talk to my husband about a nasal feeding tube and if he wants to explore further we will talk with the Sue Ryder / community nurses.