Newbie

  • 4 replies
  • 64 subscribers
  • 248 views

Hi everyone. My mum was told just before Xmas she had a solid lump in her lung, had PET scan last week and was told this week (and shown on the screen) about another area that’s lit up on the scan. It’s in the oesophogus. Mum was shaking and I felt I was in a trance. My mums health has been deteriorating for a few years, she’s 85 and had a heart attack during lockdown, has been suffering with vertigo for about 5 years and nauseas for months. She’s had numerous CT scans, tests and had regular blood tests as she’s had Essential Thrombocythemia (blood disease) for 14 yrs and nothing was ever flagged up until now!  You can imagine with all these problems this feels like the last straw. I have done nothing but cry since Tuesday, my stomach is constantly turning over, I have no appetite and just cannot bear the thought of my life without her. I lost my dad 6 years ago and was devastated but this seems to be a whole lot harder yet I love them both the same, I simply don’t know how on this earth i can cope with this nightmare. Mum has to have an endoscopy today and my brother is taking her as I just can’t face it. She lives alone but I’ve had her stay with me this weekend, I want to see her as much as I can but I work Mon - Fri. I’m a Nan myself to 7 grandchildren and in my late 50s but I feel like child myself in this situation. Anyone else had these feelings?  

  • Hi Caring1 

    I put a post on here yesterday called my dad. He’s 83 and not in great health. 
    I totally feel the same as you. I’m 53 but feel so upset, keep crying and feeling like a child. I think that’s because we have no control over the situation 

    Remember to try and take care of yourself too. I know it’s really hard to do that

  • Hi Caring 1

    I was the same its hard when you have been i n control of your life . And when you have lost the control  it makes  it harder to deal whith this dreadful  illness.

    I had my operation in August  2023 and still find it very hard at moment. 

    Take care 

    Nick

    Nic nac

  • Thank you for your reply. We both are going through those awful emotions then. I feel in a situation I can’t get out of and don’t want to believe what’s happening. I’m also dreading what lies ahead, my mum has been a tough old cookie and to see her reduced to this is killing me. I know in my head one day it will happen but when you’re dealt with a scenario like this?… boom! It just brings everything forward at a fast pace. That’s how I feel anyway.

    • Sending my thoughts and best wishes to you too 
  • I’m so sorry Nik,  I feel so sad and upset over my mum and here’s you actually fighting it yourself. It is such an awful out of control situation to be in. I pray for you and hope you get stronger.