Oesophageal cancer

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Hello my husband was diagnosed with oesophageal stage 4 advanced cancer 14 weeks ago and has just had his first chemo treatment. He still is in denial about this and refuses to talk to anyone about it and only wants to be informed of what he needs to do and when, so I have not pushed him on this but its very confusing for those of us trying to support when we know so little and the chances of having a private conversation with his consultant seems impossible so any advice would be appreciated.

  • Hi Anne,

    I was a bit like that at the beginning. Just wanted to bury my head in the sand. You just have to find out though so you can take the measures you need to..

    I have stage three and am just in my post op chemo. There's no doubting it's tough for all involved. Keep positive and attack it one day at a time. You'll get there . Tap on my picture icon it will take you to my profile.

    Best regards


  • My partner was the same he didn't want to know so I just researched as much as I could and learned for him instead, I went to all his appointments and asked the questions while he was there, I found when we got home he was always saying...why did you ask that for and when I explained he said something like...O I didnt know that lucky you did.  I still do it and hes in recovery because he wont ask questions and just wants to carry on as if nothing has happened.

    Sometimes someone needs to know  Slight smile

  • Thank you one day at a time is the only way for now and hopefully things will improve 

  • Your right I have already decided to ask while he is there a little each time so it’s easier for him and hopefully he will start to accept what is happening 

  • Hi Ann 59, I have oesophagal cancer, was diagnosed in June. Have had 4 rounds of chemo and have an op booked on Dec 29th. Then more rounds of chemo, probably 4. It is hard news to get and during chemo some of the side effects are not pleasant at all. If that's the way your husband is dealing with it I would say let him. For yourself talk to the cancer welfare team if you have any concerns because they are brilliant and you could carefully pass on their advice to your husband. For me its getting a bit easier as the treatment progresses as you know what to expect but at the same time it does help to deal with things as they happen and not look too far ahead.

    Hope this has helped, wish you all the best


  • Thank you, really appreciate your advice

  • Thank you really appreciate your advice

  • Hi SamanthaN I guess different people deal with the situation in their own way. It's so difficult for everyone, the person going through it , partners, family and friends. 

    My wife has been amazing, coming to all my appointments and looking after me at home while still working. 

    Next stage for me is an op to remove the tumour on Dec 29th so no more chemo till next year. I'm staying positive and I have every faith in the team looking after me

    I hope all is well for your partner now

    Best wishes


  • Hi GeoFerret hope everything is going ok for you after your op. My op is on Dec 29th as I have just finished 4 rounds of chemo. It's been tough and still a way to go but staying positive and it will be best Christmas present ever to get the tumour removed. All the staff at the hospitals have been amazing and made this battle easier to deal with

    Best wishes


  • HI Dean yes thats true, I like your wife am still working full time the whole way through and attended every app and made all the calls etc my fella says he couldnt have done it all without me hes very forgetful and can never remember what they tell him.

    Wish you all the best for your surgery