Hi Husband diagnosed 3 weeks ago

Brokenheart

I am do you have to ho through this no one wants to be using this forum . Please dont feel alone because your not help and advice you will find plenty of people to  help you both . Please do not Google  any information  its out of date and will play with your mind . I am the workds worse for Google button , its not helped  me just made me worse 

Youd medical team will help you both and once treatment plan in place you will be happier  knowing something  is happening  treatment  wise . Its a worrying time for us all but together  we will help each other.  I have Stomach cancer and my OP is on Tuesday and i have been so scared and worried about it , but again with help of the forum it calmed me down abit . I hope other people coments will help as well x

Hi Nic nac thank you for the reply it's so helpful to know that this forum is full of people who reach out to each other .good luck with your operation on Tuesday 

Xx

Hi Broken heart,

Sorry that you find yourself here. I too have OC stage 3. Recently completed four cycles of chemo and waiting next steps.

Your husband has been treated very quickly following diagnosis so that's good. I was three months before starting chemo.

All the questions you have are normal. Fearing the worst and hoping for the best. Keep positive, while that is the hardest thing to do. Chemo for me has been quite hard but copeable with if you have the right mindset.

Good luck to you both going forward.

Regards

Geo.

Hi Brokenheart

So sorry to hear about your husbands situation and you find yourself here….It’s perfectly understandable to feel the way you do ..I was in total disbelief for a while  when my husband received his OC diagnosis in August last year ..I’m sure you’ll find lots of support and information on here and from family and friends too …I know dealing with your own feelings as well as your husband’s ..whilst also trying to support him is challenging..I used to think ‘if this is how I’m feeling as a spectator ..then how must he be feeling when it’s happening to him ?’ .It’s a rollercoaster of emotions that’s for sure !  ..

I found (when reaching acceptance of our situation)  that taking over all the practical side of our new daily living …eg assisting my husband whilst he was going through treatment …organising hospital appointments/visits  ..liaising with medical staff ...running the house .etc.. really helped me to feel focussed and positive ..I felt less helpless …thus freeing up my husband’s mind  to 100% concentrate on the more important task of dealing with his illness and coping with treatment …This was just my way of coping and I understand it’s probably too early to put yourself in this mindset as your head must be still spinning …We all find a way of coping in our own unique ways and this was just my way of dealing with what I know is a very difficult situation to be in .I’m sure given time you’ll find your own way too 

Sending positivity and Best wishes to you both 

regards J 

Hello to all of you  thank you all for your replies I appreciate them so much. I too am so sorry that you are dealing with this illness. You have given me hope and positivity and telling me I am not strange in how I am feeling and that it's normal. I am a retired nurse and I have gone into nurse mode doing all the practical things and not allowing my mind to jump into the future too much. Thank you once again x

Hi everyone, is it normal to want to be on my own a lot at the moment? It just feels too hard and exhausting to make conversation with friends who are trying to help me. I feel terribly guilty for not encouraging visiting but I want to keep my husband safe from infections prior to his chemo next week. I just don't have any energy at all? 

From my experience in the early days of my husband’s OC journey ..I would say it is normal ..Processing the situation you suddenly find yourself  is draining as it’s constantly on your mind . ..It’s heartwarming when friends rally round but sometimes you just feel the need to deal with things on your own ..I found at the beginning it was very tiresome explaining the same thing over and over again and I couldn’t try to pretend things were ok because they weren’t..So I formed a WhatsApp  group for all our friends to join ..I put regular updates on the group and they could all be updated at the same time..I found chatting behind a screen a lot easier than chatting face to face ..I must admit I also found writing everything down a cathartic experience  ...It worked really well at the time and no one felt excluded and totally understood the reason behind the group .

We only had family visiting during my husband’s hospital stays ..and before and during treatment at his request as he just wasn’t up to it at the time .All his friends understood and we just communicated via the group during that time too 

Be kind to yourself ..you are doing your best under very difficult circumstances 

regards J 

Thanks everyone  I do have another question if that is ok? Unfortunately we spent the day in hospital yesterday as hubby vomited a small amount of blood again. He has had to stop his oral chemo drug as his liver is struggling to cope

 He was constipated but now has black diarrhoea but he's on iron. We are both panicking over every little symptom and seem to be calling the hospital every other day! Is it normal to have these problems in the beginning? I am so anxious all the time and hyper vigilant. I feel like we are just coping with one symptom then we get another... ,,,

Please speak to your Gi nurses or team or enen ask the expert  on this Medical question 

Thoughts are with you both xxx