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Hi and also I appreciate your feelings but you are there and supporting that’s what to concentrate on, it’s a rough ride particularly at this stage as all you do is test and wait test and wait, hopefully tomorrow both of you may find what the treatment plan is going to be and then hopefully you will know the direction of treatments 

For yourself there is also a Family and Friends group that may also be of support, I hope all goes smoothly for both of you tomorrow the main thing of advice I would give you both is write down as many questions as you can as when you get in there you may forget things. Also don’t be afraid both to get support from the Oncologist nurses 

Let us know how you both get on and all good wishes to your other half 

Take care Tony

Thanks for the kind words and I will let you know how we get on.

Hi 

I was diagnosed in June of last year with the same stage, it was very hard but I knew I had to be strong to get through the treatment and for my family.  I think I only really cried once in front of anyone at that stage.  

I don’t think I would have coped without my husband and knowing he is there supporting me has made all the difference.  I am sure having you is allowing your wife to be ok so well done.  its ok to find all of this hard, it is hard and different emotions will hit at different stages but as long as you are a team you will get through it.  

You and others have given me comfort in what you and they have said. I'm not a great talking and have always done the man thing. Thinking I am a man and I can deal with anything. This has hit me like a lorry load of bricks. I need to be here for my wife. And I will. I just find it hard to understand why my wife seems not to be to bothed about her illness but worrys about me more than herself.again thankyou.

Hi MR D 

Sorry that I am late in welcoming you to the forum, normally if there have already been replies, I don't tend to jump in unless there is more to say, but reading your last post I wanted to tell you something. 

My husband was diagnosed T3N3M1 GOJ  and I being a headstrong woman who, to use your words "Does the Man thing" I can deal with anything, fell to pieces, a big black hole just opened up underneath me and I had no time to anything else but fall. 

My husband similarly to your wife was the strong one, after only a short wobble, which was when he had to tell me of his diagnosis, he was instantly focused and determined that he was not going anywhere. 

After a few weeks, I began to pull myself together again, and be there for my husband every step of the way... I do hope that your wife is doing ok, and that treatment has started. 

My husbands diagnosis was back in May 2020, during the madness of covid,  and by the grace of those above us who look after us, he is doing extremely well, almost 3 years later, still having treatment but also winning. 

Good Luck to you both 

Lowe'

Thankyou

I have in you word climbed out of the black hole like you i sank into and have stopped looking on the dark side. My wife is very passive and this has rubbed off into me.

She has now had all tests, scans and exploration surgery. She is having a feeding tube fitted next week with her first appointment to explain what is going to happen next. We both look at all appointment as our appointments  which I think helps me as I am the teary one. 

It's strange but the hardest thing for me is shopping for food for one, I get really emotional but I am getting better at it. People around us have been fantastic.

 Thankyou again and I hope  your husband carries on getting better

MrD

Hello Mr. D 

Welcome to the forum. I hope your wife is making good progress.

I haven't been on here i a while as it's now 5 years past my surgery with the same diagnosis and staging (T3N2M0) In fact I had a check u CT scan last week and will see my Oncologist tomorrow for the results - which so far very fortunately been all clear.

It's a super tough Journey for sure but with great people, friends doctors , nurses and the whole support functions you wont be alone 

My Daughter and I made an A-Z blog to share our Journey and help others who may unfortunately have to embark similar. 

It's nothing too heavy but hopefully helps explain some of the process and terminology we have to understand.

 https://myoesophagealcancerjourney.wordpress.com/

p.s. for food - from a very early stage - we bought a soup maker and a blender - which meant I could virtually have exactly what the rest of the Family were eating. Even now I eat small and often but feel better for that too.

Best wishes and good luck on your Journey - please keep us updated 

Peter 

This blog really helped and encouraged me Pete when I first got diagnosed and gave me hope, as well as inspiring me to keep going when I was crawling through the trenches of chemo and surgery in 2021 ! Am sure it’s been appreciated by and helped so many - well done on passing that magic milestone of 5 years !

That's very kind of you Red10

Pleased to hear you are through the surgery and well on the road to recovery :)