It’s all been so sudden

Hi there,

we found out in the last couple of weeks my MIL has oesophagus cancer. She’s in her mid 80’s and fears drs and hospital. 

apparently it’s advanced, 8cm tumor, also in her lymph nodes and her liver.  She cannot eat and finds it painful to swallow.

she’s refusing to see anyone other than her son and daughter as she’s feeling humiliated as she’s having to spit the whole time and is now randomly projectile vomiting. 

she lives alone having lost her husband to covid during the first lockdown. 

we’re struggling to support her and each other as a family. This news has arrived in our lives so fast there’s a lot to process. Hubby and my SIL are visiting her daily and blaming themselves for somehow letting their mum down. there’s a lot if anger bubbling around right now. 

thanks for giving me somewhere to talk. 

  • FieryPhoenix

    My apologies for not seeing your post before as I know how difficult it is to have the news that a loved one has been diagnosed with OC and this should not be something that your Hubby and SIL blame themselves for missing/ letting her down.  My husbands was diagnosed in May 2020 and the seriousness of his condition came on so fast that we had no forewarning, he went to hospital with pain in his chest and throat and not being able to swallow and was diagnosed the next day. 

    This particular cancer is hard to initially diagnose from an individuals point of view, and often is advanced, occasionally though some are lucky and catch it sooner.  

    The MDTeam will make a decision on what treatment will be available to MIL, I imagine her age may have a factor in this but they will do everything that they can to make her comfortable and treat the tumour if it is possible. 

     There are links to OC information here - and if you click on my profile picture it will take you to a link for the blog we have been doing on Dal's Cancer journey, which may offer some useful ideas. 

    I wish you MIL all the luck and hope that your family can come together without guilt or blame and be there for each other during this journey.


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