Newly diagnosed

Hello Chillipepper

As with any new member of the OC ‘family’ I’m very sorry you are here but welcome anyway.  Like you I was in a real state when my husband was diagnosed and he was so calm, it took me a few days to accept the reality of it all.  It’s so easy to say this but don’t try to second guess what the scan might reveal and read as little as you can online, it will make things so much more frightening.  

Hopefully the scan can be done very soon and you don’t have a long wait, it’s being in limbo that makes everything worse and keep in contact with the medical team so you know about timings.

Is your husband able to eat ok?  If so lots of green vegetables (broccoli, kale, spinach etc) can only help.

Do let us know how you are too, it’s tough for you, especially after losing your parents to cancer.

Take care, J x

Hi, I was diagnosed with stage four OC ,spread to my nodes about eighteen months ago. My wife and I sat in the shade by the London EYE for a long time, trying with a few laughs and a few tears to console each other. I don't know who was more scared. We had a lovely summer, we went for small bike rides each day, walking was to much for me at the time. We enjoyed our takeaway coffee and found a tiny shop that had one table outside where we could sit, so we broke lockdown rules. I had used google and found that I probably did not have a lot of time left so I relaxed, enjoyed everything and everybody around me. After my first or second chemo I was able to eat better and the pubs and cafes were open outdoors so we eat a full English almost every day in mostly good weather. I finished my treatment this time last year, in January this year I was told the latest scan showed no active disease. I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm feeling great, I can eat what I want and can walk 5 Km with no problem and 10 Km if I slow down a bit. On the way to hospital one day my youngest daughter, twenty at the time said that this was easier for me than it was for her. She had lost her brother, my son, three years earlier and I think she is right. You have every right to be in a bit of a mess, the possibility of one you love dearly dying is devastating. Loads of us survive this, read some of the five year clear stories on this site. As for advice, do not use google, ye are in this together and it's ok to react differently. I hope this helps in some small way.All the best,Pat

Hi chillipepper36,

Your not alone with this believe me. I'm hopefully on the back end of my 2nd cancer battle. You'll find great help and support from your local McMillan nurses, they are a great deal of support and comfort. Also your husband may be appointed a cns, (clinical nurse specialist) who will be with you also all the way, I learnt a great deal from these people and hold them close to me.. Try not to believe all you read on google, as too much wrong information is soul destroying. Cancer used to be such a dirty word but not now, it's a git...a sod...a battle you can win now and overcome. I'm not a religious chap but I put my trust in the people who care for me... You'll do fine.. 

The very best to you both. 

Thank you, it’s just I feel I’m letting him down as he’s being strong and I just keep crying for no reason, we are in this fight together xx

Thank you it’s nice to hear from your side too, I just think it’s me that should be the strong one and support him but atm it’s the other way round, he keeps reassuring me he will be fine. I’m glad you are on the road to recovery and living the best life you can . Thank you it means a lot x

Thanks for your reply yes we have a contact clinical nurse she came in with the doctor when my husband was told the result, if I have questions can I call her or is it only my husband that she can talk to? Xx

Hi there xxx these nurses are wonderful and so helpful, as everyone is on this journey no one wants to be on. They are there for both of you. I have spoken to my husband’s nurses a few times when needed answers and if they didn’t know they found out!  As one of these lovely people told me last week, we are here for both of you.  We had a long conversation which put my mind at ease about a uple of things and I was able to sit down with hubby and put his mind at rest too.  Please ring them you will feel so much better xxx sending you a big hug xxx

Hello Chillipepper36

Welcome, I know that you would prefer to be anywhere else than here... 17 months ago I was you.... and I still cry.

Do not deny yourself the ability to feel, remember there is always hope, certainly you have support within your family and now,  here with this network of lovely people who have all got experiences similar to that which you and your family find yourself going through. 

Please feel free to message me if you would like to talk further.

Lowe'