Recent diagnosis & new on here

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Hi everyone, 

My dad (75) died last year of Oesophageal cancer and now my husband (50) has just been diagnosed with the same thing. I can’t say I was shocked as his symptoms were similar to my dad’s, but I’m so angry as I’d been ringing the doctor’s surgery weekly begging for some help or tests to be done on him. I’m now scared that it’s too late. We have 4 children who have barely had time to deal with losing their Grandad and now this. 

I’m sorry this sounds very ‘woe is me’ but I’m feeling like - how are we supposed to get through this again? I realise we gave no choice and we have to get through it. I just don’t know what to think and in the mean time my husband has to play the waiting game - has it spread??  He’s in pain, barely eating and sleeping and has lost so much weight - it’s all so bloody cruel! Sorry - just needed to get this off my chest! X

  • Sending you love and hugs  the thought of facing looking after another diagnosis scares me too also feel  very like you x .. my story slightly   Different my dad passed jan this yr  metastatic bladder cancer end of life only care ..6weeks 5 days from diagnosis .. my mum last weeks diagnosed  oesophageal cancer .. again end of life only care  .. nursed my  dad at home till the end will do same for mum .. but like you feel so angry  so if you need some  one to scream at .. woe is me at I fully understand .. wish I had Magic  words to make this all better x I do feel for you x

    Deb x 

  • Hi Loula,

    I'm so very sorry to read this. It hits home because my dad had it, then last October my mother got it too. 

    I agree, it's  very cruel & not nice for both the patient & those closest to him.

    Can I give you something to try?

    As GP's are so busy with Covid, would you please phone your nearest hospice & request a nurse to visit you at home. The contacts they have are almost limitless & they also specialize in cancer cases, really, they can write prescriptions, they can make a proper assessment as to what would be beneficial for your husband. And with 4 kids they can offer help to lighten what must be an exhausting workload. And they are non pushy, just really nice people. You'll get their mobile number & the hospice number too. So they are available most of the time, or another can fill in. And the other nurse will be up to speed with detailed notes passed on.

    You may have to ring the Oncology or Endoscopy unit for a referral. Or any GP at your husbands surgery. You will find someone, but try direct contact first. 

    The "Waiting Game" is a real source of frustration. So try the above to stop this.

    You really should have dieticians, qualified nurses, access to help you, & you shouldn't have to wait. I can tell from your post that you are deeply annoyed, frustrated & at your wits end. And due to having so much to deal with, I really think you'd get a hospice nurse quickly.

    And never feel guilty to rant, it's common & it's the best place to do so. So vent all of that anger on here because people will understand. 

    So, the hospice, give it a try, it could be a game changer for the family.

    My best wishes at this difficult time for you.

    Regards,

    Graeme.