Haven't posted in a while.
My husband passed away on Wednesday evening 24 June 26. Age 73.
He was diagnosed in Sept/October 2025 and we were told 18 months. We managed 10.
We knew that they couldn't cure his cancer but even so the 6 rounds of chemotherapy never touched it. He started radiotherapy in May and had 3 weeks of intensive radiation. This finished on the 3rd June. By the 7th of June he was in hospital with a broken hip. He didn't fall, he just turned and cried out in pain.
16 days in hospital with variable care. He never ate and hardly drank as he was now suffering from the effects of radiotherapy. This was never addressed.
Cancer was now in his liver, adrenal glands, hip bones and abdominal wall. And of course still in his oesphagus. Ascites and fluid around lungs.
After making a huge fuss over his lack of palliative care, we got him home on Monday night 22nd June.
His wish was to die at home. Horrifying and as scary as it was, I made a promise to him which I was able to keep.
If I could turn back the clock, I would say that none of the treatment in his case was worth it. I wish instead we had visited all the places he wanted to see and that he got to do all the things he wanted. Instead we had 10 months of hospitals appointments... One after the other. No quality of life for 10 months.
I will miss him forever. My heart is broken. My faith in the medical world gone!
snowsie so so sorry to read this, its a conversation that i have had with other sufferers, the what if, and could i do it all again. Although we always tell ourselves life is too short, once you are on the treatment treadmill it just puts you back in that awful place.
Your sad but wise words rings so true, and to grant that final wish, i cant imagine how you did that, but god love you that you did., reach out on here if you need support, to rant, to talk, this is a family we never wanted to join, but my god, its got me through so much when my husband just couldnt deal with the cancer when we just got over my masectomy.
wish there was a way to send a virtual hug, take care, and reach out when you need help,
xx jules
