Hi, I’m Angelgorg and my dad has just been diagnosed with advanced oesophageal cancer which has spread to his liver. It is inoperable. Myself and my Dad have a funny old relationship. We fell out last year and were estranged until he received this devastating news. Now I’m trying to support him as best as I possibly can.
My Dad’s diagnosed has hit me harder than I thought it would. I have feelings of guilt, anger and devastation. I am up and down most days and although I have a husband and his family who have been supportive, I feel as though I am burdening them all with my sadness. My husband asks me what’s wrong a lot and thinks it’s something he has done but i tell him im just sad. I’m not good at hiding my feelings at all or putting a brave face on for other people. I can for my Dad. I don’t want to bore my husband or his family but at the same time I need to talk through what i am feeling too. So I am hoping that writing on here will bring me that?
My Dad has an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow but we know that any treatment he will receive will most likely just be to alleviate his symptoms.
if anyone else is going through this or has been through this, please reach out to me here. I want to give support as well as receive it.
kindest regards.
Hello Angelgorg
Welcome to this forum, a good place to reach out too, and I am so pleased you did.
No matter what has happened in the past with your Dad, this is now your new beginning, do not berate yourself with feelings of anger, guilt and devastation, and acknowledge that it is perfectly acceptable to be up and down after hearing the news that Dad has been diagnosed with advanced OC which has been spread to his Liver.
It is my opinion that you should open up as much as possible with your husband, especially if he wants to know, the hardest thing is holding it together, alone!
You have mentioned that Dad has an appointment with the Oncologist tomorrow, and that you know that any treatment he receives will most likely just be to alleviate his symptoms, I remember my Husbands first appointment with his oncologist and how we had already been advised that things were not good.
17 months on, my husband is still having treatment, he is strong and he has been absolutely amazing, and although this is not the same for all, it is a area where I ask you to stay positive, there is hope.
Things will not be easy, there are bridges to build and battles to fight but as a family you have the strength to do this.
If you would like to chat further, I am here for you.
Good luck tomorrow to your Dad, ensure he has all the questions he wants to ask written down and don't allow the expert to stop them from being answered. They may well advise how grave the situation is, but know, My husband was diagnosed with OC, Liver, Lung and Lymph node mets, he has beaten his prognosis (Best Guess!) by many months and hopefully will continue to do that for a very long time.
Lowe'
Dal was offered 4 months without treatment, 12 months with..... These are best guesses, we can be classed as social drinkers and although Dal does not drink as much as he once did, he still has a drink when he feels like one... We never know how Chemo will make us feel, but if we think it will make us feel ill, then it will...
I do hope that whatever happens your Dad finds a turning point, and embraces his treatment, which I hope will help him to heal.
Thinking of you and your family, your are strong enough!
Lowe'
Hi Lowedal I have just read your response above and it has also given me much more hope. My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 and spread to lungs, stomach and liver. he starts chemo tomorrow which we are both embracing as we have been through it with me 4 years ago. Just fingers crossed it works its poisonous magic!!!!
Love Edwina xx
Back here again for hubby diagnosed with oesophagus cancer - Sept. 2021 
You’re allowed to scream - You’re allowed to cry - But do not give up
MAMMOGRAMS save lives, I'm the proof!!!
7 rounds of chemo, finished 30th May 2018. 15 zaps of radiotherapy, finished 26th July 2018.
I Survived .......... Sadly my hubby did not.
Hello Edwina
I am so glad that Dal's story has given you some hope, this is indeed something we should never lose touch of... and you have an amazing story to share of your own (by reading your signature)
Thinking of you both
Lowe'
