To my friend Lowdal.

Hi Graeme

That's a lovely message that you've posted to Lowedal. I've 'tagged' her so that she will get a notification about the message.

Can I also take the opportunity of offering my condolences on the recent passing of your mother.

x

Hello Latchbrook,

Thank you so much for your condolences. 

I have be inundated with sympathy cards & phone calls. It just reaffirms to me that my dear mother was so popular.

One of her best friends is only 31 years old. My mum introduced her to ballet, & her friend absolutely loved the shows. She first met this friend as she was mum's hairdresser. And from that day forward they had a very strong bond. It amuses me that her friend wears black leggings, Dr Martin boots, a tutu, & a crop top. Her hair is always a different colour too. But what a lovely person she is, never judge...... She was in tears during mum's funeral, she was so emotional that she had to get away quickly. It really hurt her.

My mum had a huge spectrum of friends, & they all loved her.

As I stated to Lowe, it's a blessing to know mum is at peace, maybe even with dad & my sister. Watching & caring for mum's needs, I could feel her pain & her sadness. She was deeply concerned for me despite her own illness. That is just the way she always was, no concern for herself, but always worrying about other peoples welfare.

My only regret is she had that radical radiotherapy, & using hindsight it made her final few months a misery. But it was her only chance for curing the illness. I know a lady of 84 years old with lung cancer who has refused treatment, just taking painkillers instead. And she is fine, has been for more than a year. But you always hope treatment will work, so you sign forms & have your personalised treatment plan. It's the awful after effects that arrive shortly after that make life so bad. I'm saying if we could have seen into the future, mum would have just had palliative care, & she may have lived for a few more years. But that's just speculation on my behalf.

I will leave her ashes & possessions with the co-op for a few months whilst I finalise her estate. I also know that when the paperwork has finished I will start to grieve. Only seeing her at rest in a quiet room at the co-op, & the funeral service itself have caused me to cry. It's just delayed at the moment, but it will come.

I just want to thank you & all the caring people at Macmillan for doing what I call the work of the angels.

Just a quick footnote, I said no flowers, instead make a donation to Cancer Research. It seems far more useful to support research into beating all cancers, rather than having expensive bouquets that have a short shelf life.

I just want to say thank you to you once again,

I also consider you to be a friend.

My best wishes,

Graeme.

Hi Graeme

Thank you for your kind words to me, in your earlier post, they are much appreciated 

I do want to say, please, please don't regret anything that was done, or encouraged during your Dear Mum's illness, We all do absolutely anything we can to give every chance to our loved ones, there are risks involved, of course they are, but the chance of success is what we pin our hopes on and although this success was not as expected, at the time, it was everything that could be done and your Mum knows that together, you gave your all. 

Like you I have not grieved in the way I thought I would my Dad, and although I miss him everyday, I talk out load to him all the time, my tears have been few and far between, maybe this is because, in the end I knew, my Dad needed to leave his earthly body and set his spirit free, his body was no longer fit for purpose and as much as I would have never wanted to lose him, even more I would not want him to suffer.

Like you flowers for both my Dad and Brother in Law was kept to a minimum, and donations to chosen charities were awarded.

Grief comes in different forms, there are no expectations.

Look after yourself.

Lowe'