Hello
I’m new to this. I was recommended to join this group as my world has been turned upside down. Back in July my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the oesophagus. He has just finished his chemo. Told he will have a scan and 3 mth break then another scan to see if he could have more chemo.
The issues I have are my young children 7 and 4 know Daddy is poorly. We haven’t used the word cancer yet I thought they were too young to hear that. Our eldest 21 has taken it badly.
Also I feel like I’m going mad because I’m over thinking everything and the what if scenarios are making me so so tired. I know you can’t do what ifs but I can’t help it. What is he can’t have more chemo? What if he gets worse over 3 mth break? What if he’s not here to see our littlest one start school, how will the kids cope? And they just a snippet.
I’ve changed my hours at work so I can drop and pick up children. He used to be able to do mornings but can’t manage sorting both of them. I put a smile on for everyone, at work I’m still making people laugh and working hard. I don’t want people to worry about me. I’m sorry if this is too long or wrong place to write this, please delete if necessary
Thank you
Hi Las1
Thank you for sharing some of your story with us, you are very welcome here and I hope that you will feel able to continue sharing whenever you like.
My husband was diagnosed in May, stage 4, but continues on chemo, and although he had a two week break, over Xmas, he has chemo (maintenance) every two weeks...
What I need you to remember is, you are entitled to every single one of those thoughts, but you must also know, that you and the kids will cope. As you ask the questions, as you think of what your future may look like, please always end with, We will cope....
I spend many days scared, many nights thinking, being kept awake by thoughts that I feel are outside of my control, I know it is not possible for everyone to switch of thoughts, but it is possible to remind yourself how strong you are, how strong you may have to be.
That said... some of the stories on this condition are truly uplifting, there is hope, hang on to every last shred of that. If you need to chat, please feel free to message me, I know how frightening this is... I am here.
Take care of all of you, but give You some time too.
Lowe'
