Sick note

Hello, Ama H.

I'm sorry that you too have had to join this forum. It's a great source of advice and support but one that none of us would wanted to have to join.

If you've been told that the only course of treatment is palliative it, sadly, means it's a terminal diagnosis. However, depending on individual circumstances, this could mean a matter of years, rather than months or weeks. 

From what you've said about the doctor's note, this will enable your partner to access financial support at this very difficult time.

The oncologists can't give a prognosis in terms of life expectancy for each patient as it's all based on statistics. For my husband, without treatment, we were told that average life expectancy is 4-6 months. With treatment, we were told that it's 18-24 months. He was 63, quite fit and maybe a couple of stone overweight. His treatment was working and then didn't. We are 6 months post diagnosis. He isn't end of life and we are hopeful that the 2nd line chemo will work better.

Each day for us, his family, is a bonus. However, for my husband, each of these extra days have, for the last 7 days or so, have been awful in the main. He can't swallow and has felt increasingly weak, in pain and nauseous. 

What he has done, though, is to keep in touch with his Macmillan nurse. She has been a constant source of support and practical advice, as well as sorting out appointments, etc. 

If you have questions, ask your husband's Macmillan nurse. They will always get back to you if they can't answer your call straight away.

Yes, we were devastated when we realised the stark reality of what is happening to Rod. However, we can't change it and are putting our faith in the MDT to help us navigate the time he has left with as little pain and as many good times as possible.

Sending love,

Lorraine 

Thank you for that and sounds like you are going through tough times.

it was only November when we got the diagnosis so everything still feels like a whirlwind.  He is 48 and was relatively fit before all this.  He’s lost weight and not eating very well at the moment as he is convinced the tumour has grown.  We don’t know that yet but everything is getting to him.

im trying to stay positive and Lee things as normal as possible.  Live life when and how we can but I’m sure you know that it isn’t easy.

we have a good support team at the hospital and in community so we do need to reach out to them more as you suggested.

i do hope things improve with your husband.

 Take care

A x

just adding on the practical side, we had critical illness cover for years, didnt think to use it when the breast cancer happened, but only as a husbands work friend mentioned that he had to use it, i made that call when this little sod decided to make an appearance, and although not a massive amount, they paid out very quickly and took some financial pressure off us.  and i was advised to check our life insurance policies.  doing the practical stuff is still hard when there is so much going on, and priorities change massively, but just a thought.

it almost felt wrong using it, and to be honest i never thought we would, but .....

as you have all said life is so precious, and what you do with it, hope you get all the help, support and assistance you deserve and need xx 

Jules.