My Dad - a 10cm tumour found today

Hi. Your dad sounds very fit. His age alone  should be no reason to not be offered surgery. I had it at 80 and my consultant told me he had operated on a man of 85 a few weeks previously. Of course there are other diagnostic reasons that he might be offered a different route. There are many different  diagnosis as you will observe on this site. With the question on chemo/radiotherapy again there are again many different formats so a generalised answer can not be given to you. Suggest you wait until further details are available to you and someone with a similar experience of the route your dad takes can help further. I do hope all goes well, I know it is a difficult situation to absorb but a lot of us older men have come through it and please come back to me when you have a clearer picture of what is on offer.  

Thank you so much for your reply. It is great to hear that you were given surgery at 80. When my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer they said he was too old for surgery - that was ten years ago!! I know I need to wait - Tuesday next week seems like a lifetime away!! Thank you again. 

Hello C,

I'm sorry about your Dad's diagnosis. My husband was given 5-6 months without treatment but, unlike many on here, he was still able to eat up until treatment started. His diet was becoming increasingly restricted and regurgitation was becoming the norm if he wasn't careful.

Within 2 cycles, on a palliative treatment plan, his eating was pretty much normal. Side effects from chemo have been manageable, with steroids and antisickness meds while on the infusion. For him, this is on a drip on day 1, then 48 hours on a portable pump at home. 

His chemo is FOLFOX and it's a fortnightly cycle.

I hope you get some answers soon.

Lorraine

Hello, 

My partner had oesophageal cancer with a similar 12 months outcome when the surgery option was ruled out. 

He had a mix of varying sorts of chemo and radiation. I would say that the chemo was manageable; he had neuropathy and was very sensitive to cold in his hands and feet with the first lot of chemo he had particularly (Iv administered if that makes a difference), and high fatigue levels for periods of time after chemo but he managed to get on within that pretty well. We found, and you'll read this elsewhere, that with each dose of the chemo, the recovery time was longer so on a 6 chemo cycle, at the start the fatigue was a few days and  by the last one it increased to about 12 days with only a few days of having energy before the next dose. So then we would have a longer break as that wasn't a decent life. 

After that first round of chemo he moved to palliative care and then had radiation which was tough tbh. As the radiation was directed at the tumour itself, it caused a lot of eating and drinking challenges to the point where my partner struggled to eat or drink at all at times whilst having the treatment. However, it was the most successful treatment he had in that it stopped the primary tumour growing for a long time and was the best treatment he had in that sense so was worth the experience. If it's any help, I really struggled watching him be like that, but he kind of forgot the experience and moved on afterwards really well as he could then eat and drink much better - so it affected me more than him in that sense! 

Then varying sort of oral chemo and he was fine on them; not the same fatigue, no neuropathy, we just carried on living life really - although with less hair on him!!

As it progressed, the cancer spread to his lungs/liver and then to the lining of his tummy. Eating took a long time and we went through all sorts of food changes to support that. The fortisips drinks are your friend! Very helpful for energy boosts and getting calories in.

Treatment was stopped in mid April and he had a couple of months then. But in that first month, we did loads; he was hiking the Pembrokeshire coast (albeit with stops!) only a week before going into hospital, we were out dancing (we were swing dancers) only the night before he went into hospital. He wanted a quick decline and that's just how it happened for us. 

He started having a lot more phlegm kind of substance as things progressed, and then stopped being able to eat or take fluids on; at which point ice lollies were superb and he went into hospital to have a stent fitted. 

His situation didn't really improve from that point, but his pain was superbly managed in hospital and then in the hospice, and the stent meant that he could eat through that time even tho his body was failing him.  He was as happy as he could have been in through that time and it was wonderful being with him. 

He would tell you that he thoroughly enjoyed his 12 months living with palliative care, and we did so much active, fun stuff in that time so it is possible. 

I hope that helps, and feel free to message me if anything more specific about how he was is useful to you. 

All the best to you and your Dad. 

Hi CRSEnvill 

so sorry to hear about your dads diagnosis he sounds like a fighter given his age and what he has overcome.

I can relate as my mum was very similar, same size tumour walked for miles physically very fit but I will be honest, this cancer wiped her out.

Chemo didn’t agree so she decided to go down the palliative route and have a stent to help eat, she enjoyed the normality of life but deteriorated rapidly and was becoming pretty weak so I was caring for her too at times, but would do it again in a heartbeat. If your dad goes off his food, definitely see if you can get some meal replacement shakes to maintain calories 

I wish you and your family all the best. We are all here to help xx

Hello Bella76, 

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. Despite the illness and trials of treatment, you clearly had a wonderful life together.

It was helpful, albeit sad, to read your profile.

Sending kind wishes,

Lorraine x

Thankyou Lorraine, 

Thats a lovely message and I very much appreciate it. I’m glad it was helpful, although not what we’d want to be learning about for our loved ones of course.

I would have found it helpful to know more about other people’s experiences with palliative care at that time, but I found it hard to find that info, or ask for it! I know my partner would be pleased that his experience could help anyone. 

lots of love to you and if anything further is helpful, at any point in the future, do feel free to ask.

Sarah 

Hi Sarah 

I have just read your story and sending you a big virtual hug. I too found very little info online for palliative care, I actually didn’t know what it was. But the main thing is to keep things as “normal” as can be.

would love to chat with you a bit more if you are willing to? 
Beth x

Thank you so much for sharing that with me Lorraine. 

Caroline xxx

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it is cripplingly sad to read but also gives hope. On Tuesday we will find out more but that seems like an eternity away! Love Caroline xxx