Husband just been diagnosed

Good Morning Sam, so sorry that you have joined this club. My husband was diagnosed in July, the news was tough and I was very anxious awaiting the results. Really hoping that you have a positive outcome, as not all diagnosis is doom and gloom.Try and do normal things, not sure how old your children are, but I think I would just tell them that daddy is seeing doctors because he is not very well, take each day as it comes. I wish you well and hope you have positive news when the results come in.

Hi Sam I’m really sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis, 

Very similar to your situation I was diagnosed at the age of 43, I’m now 6 years post op. all my treatment has now finished

I echo your worries about young children I also had young children and this was at the forefront of my mind. It also helped me by giving me focus to fight this disease, the thought that my children or at least my youngest wouldn’t remember me really played on my mind. From day one I was open with my children and told them straight away, my youngest was 9 but not knowing how old your children are is hard to say what’s best.

The not knowing can be hard but the trouble with any illness there can be so many unknowns and until you have a clear treatment path try not to think the worst and take each day as it comes, things for the short term and without sugar coating it are going to be tough, you both have a long journey ahead of you,

I mean it when I say I hope your husband has a positive outcome, there are success stories out there, me being one of them.  

For now the only thing you can do is until you know what your dealing with is be supportive and there for him.
Remember start writing down any questions you might have, believe me appointments will arrive and your head will empty. 

And good luck to you all.  

Thank you for your kind words, Clive. So pleased to hear you've come out the other side. Mine are near 6 and 6 months. I think once we know the next steps I might tell my oldest, but not everything. 

At that age yes I don’t think they would understand details, but the 6 year old I’d probably explaining that Daddy is poorly, I don’t think it would hurt.

Children can be susceptible to emotional change and no mater how well you think your hiding it it’s amazing what the pick up on, and they are really good at not showing it. 

Thank you so much. Really appreciate it x

Hi Sam. So sorry to hear your news and your concerns. You are both at an early stage in the process and I suspect there are more diagnostic tests yet to come for your husband after next Tuesday. All I can do is echo the thoughts of both Clive d and Bikerbabe. There are many positive stories out there. I do not have young children as both mine are 50 plus so cannot help with that aspect. I started out on this process in February 23 and my health now is fortunately good. I have said before on this site that the pressure in this process was far more on my wife than it was ever on me. Thus I would urge you to seek support for yourself from your family and friends and treat your husband as normally as possible. Easy to say I know but the treatment is a long haul and you will find that he will settle down to it.   My best wishes for you both.   

So glad to hear you're well. Thank you, I'll try and look after myself as well as the family  x

Hi Sam,

I'm 57, was diagnosed after an endoscopy yesterday, CT on Friday, so I feel your pain. I have 3 kids all older. One lives at home and I've told her. The other 2 at Uni and not told yet. One only just started a few weeks ago. I have no idea when to tell them. They lost their grandpa just before COVID and as both of our parents have died it's just us. 

I have no answers to your questions - I'm still processing it all - but just wanted to wish you the best. 

Steve

Hi Sam1984

So sorry to hear your about your husband's diagnosis. It is a shock and difficult to come to terms with.

I have been battling oesophagal cancer which was removed but its now on my liver but they have caught it very early band the chemo/ immunotherapy I'm on has had good results.

It is hard waiting for results but be reassured that the consultants and cancer team will support you all the way through treatment  whatever it will be. The surgeons are amazing if an op is needed but try not to worry too much until you know what your husband is facing.I have two daughters and two grandchildren and I'm going to fight this as best as I can

I wish you both the best and hope it all goes ok. If you need someone to talk to I'm here and the experts at Macmillan are amazing 

Best wishes 

Dean

Hi Sam & Steve,

You are both at a very difficult stage where you have had the scary shock of the diagnosis and all the fears and worries that that brings but you are still waiting for the completion of all the tests that are necessary for your medical team to come up with a treatment plan. I was in the same position as yourselves almost exactly a year ago. I received my diagnosis on 24th October 2023. I remember the date because it was the day before my wedding anniversary. Fortunately (and I sincerely hope that the same is true for you) my cancer was caught early enough for me to be offered a curative pathway. The last year has been the hardest that I have ever faced but I’m still here (a year ago I didn’t think I would be) and continuing what is a very slow recovery process. It’s hard at your stage not to worry and imagine the worst (please don’t Google because there’s no comfort there). But on this forum there are many good outcomes. I hope that I am one of them and I hope that you will be too. Once you know what it is you are facing, you will get much useful advice here from others who have walked that path before you. Keep in touch. CB