Lives turned upside down

Hello,

I'm so sorry to hear about your partner, that's so very young.I can't imagine what it's been like with a young family, dealing with your own emotions and your daughters.

My husband was diagnosed nearly 2 yrs ago and had op/ radio and is still on chemo.Apart from I would say some memory and personality differences ( not bad but different) he has coped really well going back to work part time for a few months and now full time.He was out with his friends in London the other night and does sport a few times a week.

He doesn't really talk in of terminal diagnosis - he's not in denial but just wants things to be as normal for as long as possible and really apart from the monthly hospital visit, blood tests and scans things are quite settled.

I know there are quite a few on this forum who have younger children and can give you your experience on how they approach the subject.

I wish you well,You will receive lots of advice and support here.

Take care 

Thankyou for getting back and yeah I have tried to explain this to more his side of the family it's not only my emotions I'm dealing with it's arwyns aswell and at such a young age of 5 I can't even imagine what she must also be thinking an feeling aswell.

Yeah my partner is the same very positive doesn't like talking about it he just wants to continue as normal like he hasn't been given this diagnosis an I respect that if that's his way of dealing with it then that's OK but I can't help but feel differently about it all.

I have slowly started picking up some shifts at work again it does help a little bit, it's a good distraction and it keeps me active busy an focused.

My partner has done incredibly well with his recovery he came back home from his de bulking surgery on the 17th of Feb, so many people have told me he looks fantastic, considering, you wouldn't even think he's just undergone surgery, endless hospital appointments,  scans, blood tests etc

Listening to your story has give me a slight bit of hope, I have bought my daughter some books that may help explaining more what's going on at the moment,  and what maybe to expect with the medicine he's taking etc I've told her we can read them when she is ready to do so

And thankyou I hope your husband continues doing well and thankyou for replying to my comment it means a lot

Hello

i am so sorry to hear about your partner’s diagnosis. This disease is horrible. Being positive is the best medicine and rest will be taken care by doctors. 
My daughters are older to yours but I can still completely relate to what you have mentioned about your daughter. Check with the hospital they might have counselling available. It will be good for both you and your daughter to take counselling or chk with your local gp, if they can refer. School should also have some counsellors. My younger daughter was 11 when my husband was diagnosed. She started speaking to her school counsellor and that really helped her. Unfortunately at this age they can’t share their feelings with their friends. 
You should also try to step out whenever possible for a quick walk in nature or coffee with friends. It helped me a lot. This forum is always there to vent out, share your emotions, questions, anything that you want. We have all been there/going thru it. 

take care. Sending hugs to you and your daughter. Lots and lots of positive energy. 

Thankyou I appreciate your time to reply back an offer support ️ I did write a paragraph then it deleted it , but again thankyou 

HI LGH92

a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your partner. Life is too cruel for words at times.

I supported my late husband through the 3 years of his GBM journey. He was 50 when he was diagnosed in Sept 2020. You can read the gist of our story in my profile. He too refused to talk about it. Denial was one of his key coping mechanisms.

All those emotions you are feeling just now are perfectly normal. It's a huge amount for you to process. It's the strongest and most resilient among who show the emotions - that means you are processing them and not bottling things up. I cried oceans of tears when G was first diagnosed.

I've written a couple of community blogs over the years for MacMillan. These might help you just now

Caring for a partner with a brain tumour – a Community member’s story - Macmillan Online Community

“I’m fine”: how do you really cope as a carer? - Macmillan Online Community

Talking to children is always a hard one. Personally I believe that we need to be open and honest with them but at  the same time we don't want to scare them. There are some useful links on the main website. I've added them below

Talking to children and teenagers about cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

How to talk to children and teenagers when a relative or guardian is dying | Macmillan Cancer Support

There are also lots of books available that might help Arwyn (love her name) process this in a way that she understands. I  found one that  might be the right age bracket for her - What Happens When Someone I Love Has Cancer?: Explain the Science of Cancer and How a Loved One's Diagnosis and Treatment Affects a Kid's Day-To-day Life (What About Me? Books) : Olsher, Sara: Amazon.co.uk: Books 

This is a safe and supportive space so please reach out here anytime. There's always someone about to listen who gets it as you've already seen. There's always someone to hold your hand or to offer a virtual hug when its needed. You're not alone. We've got you.

It’s always good to talk so please remember that you can also call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Conscious I've flung a lot at you in this post but if there's anything else I can do to offer support PM me.

Please also try to take some time for yourself here. Its not selfish. It's essential to help keep your batteries charged. I'll not lie, this is a gruelling journey on many levels but you will get through it.

For now though I'm sending you all a huge virtual hug.

love n hugs

Wee Me xx