how do people cope with the personality changes that happen with gbm/treatment? My mum is just not herself anymore and is constantly snapping and getting angry over the slightest thing. Rationally I know it’s not her fault and I feel selfish for saying this but it’s so hard to take and not be upset by it. I guess a huge part is the worry that this is it and she’ll never be herself again.
Feel silly for being so negative and sad when it’s meant to be a happy time of year. I was really looking forward to Christmas but now am dreading the next few days
Hope everyone manages to have some happy times this Christmas
Hi TPK29, I came here as in a very similar position. Our Mum was diagnosed at the end of November. She has always been a super positive person and received the news with real grace and stoicism. We managed to navigated the first 5-weeks post-diagnosis with real positivity but on 27th December we started seeing real personality changes. I wasn't sure whether it was depression because of her situation or a symptom of the tumours, but we are finding it extremely difficult to manage. She has become super-morose, snappy and sarcastic and has become fixated on the idea that I want to bring in carers (which will obviously be necessary at some point soon, but isn't yet, and which I haven't pushed for at all but yet which she is strongly resistant to). I am also finding it incredibly difficult not to be upset by it. I know it might not be for everyone but to an extent I find it easier to think that the real her has already gone and that way I find it easier to distance her behaviour from her. Also, if we see any glimmers of the real her, that is a nice surprise. I am so sorry you are going through this too. It is the most awful part of this whole experience for us so far. Sending solidarity xx
It's such a difficult situation to handle to keep strong. I can identify with all the moods and reactions of your Mum.
My husband would get really stressed in the morning when I had to help dress him, cross with the way I put his bad arm in his t shirt from one early occasion and then accusing me of being intentionally bad. The day he had his haemorrhage was just after dressing.
They say people will share their worst side to those closest.
It's a no win situation, if you distance yourself then it's like you don't care. But if you take to heart you'd feel distressed and hurt.
Sending you best wishes and strength to find and continue the middle way to support your Mum and yourself.
I get very snappy with my poor wife and we have had a good chat on several occasions it I'd darnt offer her a rolling pin to teach me not to be nasty, it's very difficult I've explained to to people if I'm nasty ignore me but it's still not nice if I feel there's to much going on around me that could make me snappy I pop headphones on or go for a dog walk
Thank you for your reply Lee. I am sorry you are having to endure this. It's good to know that you want people to ignore the nastiness. It helps to view it as a symptom. I hope the dog walks keep helping (also, nothing better than a doggy hug).
Thank you so much for your reply Daybreak2. It is upsetting to know others are in the same situation but also it helps so much not to be alone. Best wishes and strength back to you.
Continuing on the personality changes: last weekend we stepped out for lunch (my husband , 12 year old and I). By the time we finished lunch and paid my husband was tired and wanted to get home quickly to sleep. My car was parked 5-7 mins away. So I told him to wait with my daughter while I get the car. He apparently lost patience and snapped and shouted at my daughter. My daughter is quite matured for her age but it’s very difficult for 12 year olds to take it. I hv shown her this chat to tell her it’s not just her dad but lot of people are going thru this. But at the moment she is too emotional to the extent that she said she hates her dad. Happy that we have this place to vent out.
Sending hugs jyo - with a 10 and a 12 year old, I empathise with you. My husband and my 10 year old are really locking heads at the moment - it’s draining but also so sad and breaks my heart. I worry that my 10 year old will have these memories of his dad and that they used to argue. It’s so unlike my husband - he’s always been so laid back and the funny one! Sending you love x
Thanks sunflower73. Sending you and your boys a big hug. My daughter is already saying that she doesn’t remember her actual dad and from 1.5 yrs back. So sad
