Methotrexate

I never had methotrexate but I think I am safe saying that the ongoing stress of months of any of the treatments used for Lymphoma can be mentally debilitating resulting in various levels of emotional challenges. It can be a hard journey and many ‘box/up’ the emotions of it all.

There comes a time when the invisible rucksack that we are all given at diagnosis and we ware it 24/7 throughout all our treatments gets overloaded with the ‘stuff’ of the journey and there comes a time when it needs to be taken off and unpacked……. this often needs help.

Talking with folks can help this process, be it with a trusted member of the family, a friend, a Cancer Nurse Specialist.

You could look for specific support through a Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide me with a lot of help.

Lymphoma Action run regular Lymphoma Online Support Groups for patients...... I highly recommend these groups as there is nothing better than talking with other who have walked the journey.

They also have a great Lymphoma Action Buddy Service where people can be linked up with someone who has walked the same treatment journey. They also have a Lymphoma helpline on 0808 808 5555 where Sharon or Nic will be on hand to give you some support - open every week day from 10 till 3.

……..and as always this group is here to help ((hugs))

I agree. Lovely to hear from you.  You really are amazing. 

It really does catch up with you. I felt numb, helpless and hopeless. It's really tough. I said to myself "It is what it is" and thinking of plans and things I want to do after its all done. I finished all my treatment all in April 2022 though I'm still depressed I'm very slowly making a recovery. I'm getting my confidence back, I went for my first holiday post treatment and I'm thinking more ahead.

I had methotrexate twice aswell. I had to stay in the hospital for a 5-6 days each time. All that time in a hospital bed being a bit bored gave me time to reflect back on it all. Perhaps it was the same for you.

I agree it does catch up with you. GP thinks I’ve had a slight PTSD episode but thankfully coming out of it now.  Yes, I had many bored hours to think and that was the beginning of it. Trying to get my life in order, looking at what I could do better etc 

Hi Debbie...I'm only part way (finished cycle 3) through the R-CHOP treatment, and I'm feeling a bit down and out of sorts with myself as the reality of the situation sinks in. I'm not quite depressed, as I've suffered full-on severe depression in the past, so I know what it's like, so I'm always worried about slipping back to walk the Black Dog. But it's not like that now, just feel like I'm marking time, quite bored and apathetic, and permanently tired. 

In the past I've found what works for me with depression are the simple, well worn solutions...talking to people regularly, specifically a couple of ex-army friends who I've not seen in person for years, my family, and friends, and my boss from work. Exercise is always helpful, getting out of the house and a slow bimble round the local lake with Scamp, my dog. Trying to keep busy at home, regular pottering about in the garden, doing jigsaws in the back room, watching a bit of TV (Ted Lasso & Ozark have been good), reading when I can, though concentration can be an issue. I even went through my wardrobe the other day and threw out half of it, very therapeutic that was.

I hope you can recover from the onset of depression, and get a bit of equilibrium ....you're certainly not alone with the stress, worry and general balls-ache of the R-CHOP program, and it's not surprising you feel the way you do.

Good luck

Steve

Dear Steve thank you for your response. That black dog is troublesome but we have to fight it! I wish you well with your treatment and good luck for the future. 

Mike I would have been lost without your regular in put and advice …thank you for keeping me level headed, I’m the long suffering wife like your Fiona, advice that I shared constantly with my hubby ..we’re in the all clear zone now …but I’m staying in touch …these forums are a godsend …thank you x 

Supportive ((hugs)) and best wishes from Mr and Mrs Highlander

Hi there.

I finished my treatment in March 2021.. my treatment was rchop, rcodexm, rivac, rcodexm, rivac and 8-10 intrathecals.  The treatment was as inpatient -5-7 days for r hip and then 3-4 weeks each cycle with about a week at home before the next one. This was all during covid with no visitors.  Went through the treatment with a positive storied and got the clear end of may2021 that was great news.. but the real recovery started after that.. I used to feel very low and very subdued etc.. during the day and in my sleep all I saw was the hospital ward, patients and staff.  This carried in for a few months until we had a puppy who helped me with my recovery.. but still have times when I feel low, lost, lonely and stuck.. remember our life has changed completely and our body has been through hell.

try and think positive and stay away from negativity. Also ask your consultant/CNS nurses for help. There is counselling and support available - please reach out to them and they will do a referral.

as a said below speak to people - it helps; talking about my experience helps - also remember people around us don’t really understand what we are going through as very difficult to express our feelings, so talking helps us and them u derstand too.

sending your loads of hugs and positive vibes

That’s very kind and feeling better. Congratulations on your recovery xx