So 4 weeks ago today my partner was admitted to hospital after finding out that the initial course of Chemo and Radiotherapy got rid of the lumps that started his journey but unfortunately didn't zap the blighters in his bone marrow. By the time they finally sorted it out it was aggressive, so he was taken in, given blood and steroids and started a new plan 2 weeks ago of R-GDP chemo.
One of the doctors explained it in layman terms as the bone marrow being the earth where the garden grows and the lymphoma being weeds that have invaded, which I thought was a great way of explaining it.
However, they never fully told us what the treatment would do, we naively thought it would be similar to the R-CHOP !
This past week has been horrendous, with 6 lots of blood transfusions along with platelets transfusions, nose bleeds, even more fatigue than I or he could imagine.
I got so emotional yesterday that I was in tears in the hospital, watching them put full PPE equipment on because his temperature spiked suddenly, (they were wary of him having caught Covid) his heart rate was was all over the place, his blood pressure was sky high and he was shaking and as weak as when I took him in a month ago. WHY? We were not expecting any of this.
Finally today a doctor took time to talk to us properly.
So my version of what she said (yes I did double check that my version was a very basic version of what she had said) is:
The weeds in the garden were way more than the flowers, so the weed killer they used was super strength, which unfortunately killed off all the flowers as well as the weeds. They have had to take cuttings from another garden to help the garden grow back several times, and in a few days time the good flowers will start to bloom again, slowly but surely. The next 3 rounds will kill keep doing the same thing but the implanted seeds will be tougher and grow quicker so that if all goes well in 9 weeks there will be no weeds left.
It might sound a bit childish, but GOD it helped me understand what the heck had been happening these past two weeks.
Whether we were told, but didn't hear, or whether they didn't make it clear enough, or had mot even told us, is neither here or the there now, What he is going through is within the spectrum of things that were expecting and they have assured us that things are going in the right direction.
So if any one reads this that is starting on the same journey as green as we were (and maybe still are) please, please keep asking to get it all in a language you understand.
Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
Yes it’s scary when things kick off like this.
The Doctors explanation is good as you can visually understand what is going on……. let’s look for the new flowers to grow soon.
The various chemos used are great at killing of the cancer cells but like all weed killers, they kill the good growth as well….. some more than others ((hugs))
NannyJ I am so sorry to hear your news, my sincere condolences to you and your family.
There are no certainties in this journey and all we can cling to is hope but even that can run out.
Do take care and if you feel like up to it you may consider joining our very supportive Bereaved spouses and partners group.
((hugs))
