Hi everyone m, thought would introduce myself. I’ve been recently diagnosed with cervical cancer stage IVA and due to start chemoradiotherapy 13 July. I’m not doing the interlace chemo as my oncologist didn’t strongly recommend it and basically left the decision up to me and decided I didn’t want to potentially compromise the latter part of the treatment.
I'm a 44yo female, generally quite fit aside from this coming out of left field. Unfortunately I’m a widowed parent to a 10yo boy so this is devastating and quite scary news. I don’t have family locally and not from the UK so no long term friendships here. Very much used to doing everything for myself and facing the likelihood of not being able to do much for myself or my son during the treatment and recovery.
id love any practical tips around freezer meal prep or anything else I haven’t considered? Do people have any idea how realistic it is to drive myself to and from The hospital for treatment at least for the first 2-3 weeks (40 min drive). It’s tricky as I’ll need to juggle holiday clubs for my son, with some leaning on other parents for play dates etc but currently my head can’t figure out how to organise this. Bit of a nightmare I never thought I’d find myself in tbh.
I'm also quite terrified of undergoing cancer treatment and the side effects, esp long term. I really don’t want to do this but feel backed into a corner for the sake of my son. Any tips on moving through this please 
Hi Mjh and welcome to our group.
I’m sorry to read you’ve had this difficult diagnosis. I had a different stage of cervical cancer (mine was stage 2b) but I did go through chemoradiation as my first line of treatment in 2018.
My situation was very different in that I didn’t have a young child, as my children were adults when I was diagnosed, and I am married so had a lot of support from my partner while I was undergoing my treatment. Your situation sounds a lot harder as you don’t have that kind of support yourself from a partner or a friend network.
I hope that other ladies in the group might be able to offer some help and support for you in your particular circumstances. I can share my own experience of the treatment, which is pretty intense as it is over a relatively short period of time. The main effect for me was tiredness-radiotherapy made me very fatigued, but I was never ill or bed bound. I still could get up every day and do normal household chores, though my partner did all the cooking. To be fair, I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I didn’t feel nauseous and wasn’t sick.
Radiotherapy gave me some unpleasant side effects from three weeks into treatment in the form of cystitis and diarrhoea, but these effects did not last long term after treatment ended and cleared up a couple of weeks after my treatment finished. I don’t drive, so always got taken to my hospital, but many ladies have managed to drive themselves or take public transport.
We are all different in how we react to the treatment, and some can sail through it with little or no side effects but it’s hard to know in advance how you will feel. We are given anti sickness medicines and steroids after chemo sessions, and the best advice I can give you is to tell your team as you go along if you have any side effects so these can be managed.
I didn’t suffer from any long term treatment effects at all, though some ladies do. I recovered well, and everything improved for me within weeks, including my fatigue. I was unlucky enough to have my cancer recur about 9 months after treatment, so had to have major surgery which was very difficult at the time, but that was in 2020 and I am currently well.
We do have other ladies in the group who have a stage 4 diagnosis, some of whom have done the chemo protocol from the Interlace trial prior to chemoradiation, and hopefully they will be able to share their experiences of how they felt during treatment. It must be decidedly scary for you in your own situation, and my heart goes out to you.
I’d really recommend trying to maintain a positive attitude to the treatment as far as you can as this might help you through. You have a lot to cope with, so try to just take a day at a time and not look too far ahead.
Sarah xx
Hi Mjh
Im really sorry to hear of your diagnosis too! i was diagnosed with stage 2b back in Oct 23 but from what you have shared it sounds as if treatment you are due to start is similar to what i had, chemoradiaton for 5 weeks then 4 days of brachytherapy. I was 45 at the time of my diagnosis, and a single parent to a then 14 year old. I recognise 10 year olds and 14 year olds are quite different in terms of needs and care but i thought by sharing some of my experiences of treatment it might help you when thinking of your own journey to come.
You mentioned that you were relatively well before diagnosis and i was too, and this will really work in your favour over the coming few weeks, i remained as active as possible and for the first couple of weeks i often cycled down (7ish miles away) to my hospital for the daily radiotherapy treatment (doubled up with some chemo on a wednesday). Still being able/well enough to do some of the things i enjoyed (being active) was great escapism for me and i loved the freedom of getting too and from the hospital in the quickest way possible (i am a londoner and the alternative was a crowded tube or a long stuffy bus ride neither too much fun especially when you are worrying about picking up infections!) i was able to tolerate the radiotherapy relatively well but i did feel pretty rubbish on the day of and day after the weekly chemo sessions. You asked the question re: likelihood of being able to drive yourself and i think its certainly possible, like Sarah shared everyone reacts differently to treatment but i took a really positive mindset to it i think it helped me stay motivated and optimistic and i think that helped propel me forward and gave me some additional energy. There will always be a nurse available to speak to everyday as you moved through the treatment days and i was always checking in with them about how i was feelings etc, you also have regular blood tests done that gives the team an indication of how well your body is tolerating the treatment/managing the cancer and you will be able to review your decisions re to keep driving yourself or think of a plan b as you progress.. One of my symptoms was heavy blood loss and horrible clots and i actually started to feel better after a couple of weeks because the radiation was having an effect of my tumour and i was passing less clots.
When i had my treatment scan (the first time i visited the radiotherapy department) i told the team i had a school age child and requested radiotherapy appointment times that would enable me to be home in time for my daughter - on radiotherapy days i was always home before 4, it was a bit trickier to ensure that when i had both radiotherapy and chemotherapy on the same day so this is the day where i would think any support system you may have could really help you and your son. I asked one of my daughters friends if she could stay with them on that night for the 5 weeks, and it was such a relief to have her looked after elsewhere on my chemo days, i just didnt feel well at all (sick) and i was happy that she was not there to see that side of my treatment, by the time she came back on Thursdays after school i was feeling much better.
I love the idea of getting organised with meal preps, you may not fancy cooking or eating, but it sounds as if with your mum hat on you will know there is at the very least a cooked dinner you can quickly put together for your son in the evenings once he is home from holiday camps/school etc and it takes the pressure off.
I can imagine you are really scared and overwhelmed right now, this is the worst bit, waiting for treatment to start and holding on to all this worry and uncertainty, its easier once treatment starts because all of a sudden you have a 'job' to do and you find yourself just putting your best foot forward and getting on with it.
my top tips are to let a few close, supportive, compassionate friends know and let them know you are going to need thier help and support, you will be surprised how much people will want to help. I would also let your sons school know, they should be able to point you in the direction of local support available to you and your son. I spent alot of time in quite reflection and used music and nature to help support me process the diagnosis and what was happening during treatment etc, find what gives you strength and supports you to feel calm and in control - youve got this
Please do not hesitate to ask any other questions etc, ill be thinking of you 
