Grieving the life taken away

Hi Rochyc and welcome to our group.

The subject of grieving for a life which has been changed comes up in the group quite often in different ways as those who us who have been through treatment and big changes try to move forward with our lives. The most recent discussion I recall was in this thread which you may want to have a read through to see that you are not alone. I put some further links into one of the replies I made in that thread for extra groups where you might find additional support.

Grieving for the old me

To know that you no longer have the ability to have your own child must be very hard to deal with when you hoped for this as part of your future. Have you considered having any counselling to help to deal with how you feel? It might help you find strategies to cope with your feelings, though I appreciate it’s not for everyone. 

A number of ladies in the group are of a similar age to you and have had to have hysterectomies, or been put into a surgical menopause through treatment, so hopefully they will come along and have a chat with you. I was post menopausal at my diagnosis, and had a family, so my feelings of grief for the life I no longer can have are of a very different type and for very different reasons.

I hope you’ll find it helpful to be here in the group and  talk with others who can understand.

Sarah xx

Sending you hugs, I also struggle with feelings of sadness… sometimes when I’m walking my dog in the park and see happy families with young children etc. But I feel lucky to be alive and try to look to positive things whilst also embracing my pain and letting myself feel the grief as we are only human. I give my self a moment and then try to make plans like holidays or mini breaks away, things to keep me occupied. that’s amazing that you are 2 years post treatment well done. I am 6 months into remission after stage 3c cervical cancer and also had the treatment you did x I am 39  . Hope you start to feel better and maybe you could consider another way for a child perhaps x 

Hi Rockyc,

I cannot relate more to your post as I was diagnosed at 33 years old having no children and I also was not lucky to freeze my eggs.

we decided with my husband to go through IVF with donor eggs a few years ago and the difficulty creating embryos is real as we went through multiple cycles. This put my mind at ease and the choice I made not freezing my eggs at that time. As I now believe that the probability  of creating more than one healthy embryos with only one cycle was quite low given the fact that I was in the pill prior of treatment.