It's a while since I wrote anything to the community as life seemed to be without trauma.
How wrong I was.
I lost my partner through cervical cancer back in May 2022 and treasure all 22 years of great memories we made and have not got my head round that awful chapter that tested all of whom I am as she battled the disease for 3years.
During that battle I had my best buddy Dora by my side a beautiful French bull dog who really give me the strength to care for my partner as each day got tougher until her passing.
Unfortunately for her and me ,Dora was also diagnosed with cancer and with a heavy heart I had to make that awful decision to have her put to sleep to take away her pain.
Two of the most important ladies in my life taken away so cruelly and not even a year between them.
Well that was not the end of the word Cancer being part of my vocabulary for so long as it just would not go away.
My close uncle and I mean as close as living in the same street as my mam was given a diagnosis we did not want to hear any more.
This time it was lung cancer but it was bad .it found its way into his spine and it crippled him physically.
But like my partner the physical changes were so upsetting and you could see the pain in his face.
He passed away in 2025.
Why I am writing this now is yet again cancer has made itself known for a 4th time and it's my mam.
We don't know the severity of it yet until she gets a urgent appointment at hospital but she has got skin cancer effecting the right side of her face.
I can't take this no more .
I've lost my partner and now my mams future hangs by a thread.
I used to be a strong sort of guy , I could cope better than most buy now I am a nervous wreck.
I won't cope with this if the news turns out to be not what we would like to hear.
I am broken ,scared and vulnerable.
What else is life gonna throw at us.
Have we been cursed.
I feel like I would rather not be here to witness any more Heartache.
I've had more than a fair share of cancer in my life I would have though the but it's not finished with us yet .
What a horrible world we live in.
Hi Dora223
It’s Wayne here from Macmillan’s Online Community team. I saw your post and wanted to offer some support whilst you are waiting for other group members to reply.
I firstly want to say how sorry I am to hear how much cancer has affected your life. I’m so sorry to hear the passing of your partner, your uncle and your best buddy Dora. I can only imagine the emotions you are going through with your mam’s cancer diagnosis. Please know that Macmillan will continue to be here for you whilst you navigate your way through this. You may find it helpful to join the skin cancer forum. It’s a support group for people diagnosed with skin cancer, their family members & loved ones.
Please remember, if you would rather speak to someone directly, we have our Macmillan Support Line when you want to talk things through with someone for advice, emotional support or even just a listening ear. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00. If you would rather speak to them via message, you can also do so on our live webchat.
If you think accessing some specialist bereavement support would be helpful, there’s useful information in Macmillan’s ‘coping with bereavement’ booklet. It includes details of other specialist organisations trained to support people with their grief such as Cruse bereavement care.
They have a free confidential helpline where you can pick up the phone and speak to their team of trained bereavement volunteers on their helpline by calling 0808 808 1677. You can click here for their opening times.
Additionally, there are different charities that can offer guidance and support with your mental health in mind:
I hope the above makes sense and I’ve been able to reassure you that we are here to help. If you need any help using the Community or finding additional support, please don’t hesitate to get back in touch.
Best Wishes,
Wayne
Macmillan Online Community Team
