Dialators

Hi Sssss 

I think everyone I’ve ever spoken to about dilators feels the same, so you’re not alone with this! I didn’t have any burns to deal with from radiotherapy but that must make it extra difficult for you.

As you say, it’s important to use the dilators to keep things open but I did find it difficult to get into a routine of doing it regularly. It’s a thing I had to force myself to do, but I had no issues with subsequent internal examinations so I was glad I persevered. I tried different types of lube, and made sure I was relaxed as possible before starting but still found it a bit of an ordeal.

I was always scared about bleeding too, so I get that. Can you have a chat about this with your nurse/doctor when you go to your appointment? See if they can make any suggestions about how to make this easier for you, and make sure that before an internal is performed that you let them know how difficult you’re finding this. 

I hope it goes ok for you when you go and that it’s not as difficult as you fear. The doctor should have a range of speculum sizes to try, so make sure they use the smallest one.

Sarah xx

Hiya , I struggled and am still struggling with the dilators so I understand perfectly what you are are going through and how you feel . Since my brachy the thought of even looking down there has me in all sorts of emotional turmoil. I’ve probably failed miserably tbh . My examinations have been ok touch wood so far but I’m back on 13th June for a check up so dreading it . I’ve also noticed some bleeding from my bowel and am having that looked into so bit of a mess at the moment . I can’t help with a solution for you and I know we have to keep being brave and keep trying but please know I am thinking of you xxx 

Hi ssss its pretty grim isnt it, i would encourage you to keep going, as i stopped doing it for a bit about 9 months after my treatment and when i had my subsequent check up my consultant said that she could see the beginings of stenosis which frightened me, so i got back on it.

wishing you all the best for your upcoming checks

I fully understand your fears about the internal exam. I had my 1st exam 6 weeks post tretment and it easier and less uncomfortable than the dilator. The doctor was so reassuring and gentle and I won't fear future examinations as much. 

Hi Sssss

I struggled with dilators as well albeit I did persist with them for 12-18 months - less frequently as time went on.  Never got beyond the second smallest one, maybe partly because I had the top half of my vagina removed during my hysterectomy before the radiotherapy.

After I stopped using the dilator I used a small vibrator which I found easier to use; it had a silicone cover which was softer than the hard plastic dilator and warmer too.

I've never any problems with internal examinations since my treatments.

To my understanding the vibrator may not be so effective at breaking down adhesions as the dilators but has to be better then nothing if you find yourself avoiding the dilators.  Or maybe alternate the use of a vibrator with a dilator?  But don't take it from me - best check with your oncology team first.

After some on-line searching I found a vibrator which matched the size of the dilator I was using: the Immy from Jo Divine.  I think the Jo Divine products are good quality and there is some interesting information on the website.  One of the co-founders of Jo Divine, Samantha Evans,  has a background in nursing and a strong interest in sexual health:

www.jodivine.com/

Thank you for starting this thread. I’m also really struggling with the dilators. I’ve been using them once or twice a week but I’m finding it more and more uncomfortable as the weeks go on. I’m sexually active with my partner twice a month as we live apart, however the most recent time became quite uncomfortable and slightly painful.
Both dilators and intercourse brings on some bleeding which is of course concerning. 
Im starting to wonder if I’m struggling due to overthinking and there being some sort of mental block. It really is a hard place to be in, especially when our bodies are healing in a different way. 
I don’t wish this on anybody but also relieved it’s all relatively common at this stage. 
I am 10 weeks post treatment.

I think there is a psychological impact using the dilators in addition to the physical aspect of them. They are so clinical, and we’ve had so much poking about in that area already, so we are doing this because we need to but it’s not a nice thing to have to do. If you are also in a sexual relationship, that will help keep things open. 

I found the internal exams afterwards to be straightforward so I was glad I persevered as it would have added even more stress if it had been difficult, though I might have preferred a female consultant! I had a male consultant and a male registrar doing mine-I remember my consultant coming to me with what seemed like a large speculum and saying “you’ll manage this, won’t you?”I did but would have preferred him using something smaller to start with. I didn’t speak up, but we should feel able to speak up for ourselves.

Sarah xx