Reoccurrence

Hi 123ghist and welcome to our group.

First off, I’d like to say that I think it’s important to consider the difference between the words terminal and incurable. Terminal means that a cancer cannot ever be cured and will lead to someone passing because there is no treatment that will prevent that happening. Incurable means that there are treatments available which can be used to control the cancer, which might not necessarily cure it but can be used to manage the condition and prolong life.

In answer to your question, a recurrence absolutely does not mean someone will automatically be given a terminal diagnosis. It’s good to read that you have had clear scans, but I can appreciate that there is always a degree of anxiety that the cancer might come back.

I was stage 2b at my original diagnosis and I had a recurrence 9 months after treatment finished. If you click on my name you can read my story,  At my last appointment with my consultant she told me she now considers me cured, as I’ve gone more than 5 years without a further recurrence. So yes, it is possible to hear those words! 

I had surgery, but if that hadn’t been possible there would still have been the option of chemotherapy or immunotherapy or potentially both to treat me. 

I understand your concern about a possible future recurrence-I felt the same way myself-but it’s something that is a big “if” and it’s impossible to know whether it would happen in the future. As time goes on from clear results you may find it easier to relax about this, and I found it more helpful to concentrate on the positives rather than worrying about something which may never happen. Hopefully you won’t ever have to experience it and can get on with enjoying life in the present.

I hope you’re feeling well now after your treatment.

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah

I just want to thank you.

My daughter was diagnosed with stage 1b cervical cancer 2 years ago, had a radical hysterectomy and has so far remained cancer free, thank God. 

Nevertheless I've managed to get myself into a complete panic today, thinking it could come back, I could lose my daughter and how awful that would be for her, my son-in-law and my granddaughters and I haven't known what to do or where to turn. I should explain that my younger daughter died when she was 18 (from a completely different illness) so I know what it feels like to lose a child.

Then I remembered how much this forum helped me 2 years ago and thought I'd just have a look and see whether it might be able to help me again. I read your post here and your story and there's so much common sense, knowledge and courage in both pieces of writing and you've cut my panic attack off in mid-flow. The chances are the cancer won't recur and, if it does, we'll deal with it, just as you've dealt with so much in the last few years. As you say there's no point in worrying about something that might never happen when everything's going well at the moment.

So thank you again; I'll sleep better tonight now. With best wishes to you and to the lady that asked the original question xx   Mary

Hi worried mum 

Thank you so much for your post here tonight. As community champions we all want to reach out and help to support others, patients like ourselves, or carers, and when someone comes back to tell us we’ve helped in a difficult time it means the world. 

I can’t imagine, as a mum with 2 daughters, the devastation of losing a child and having another child go through cancer. I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure such pain. 

But it’s wonderful to read that your daughter has remained free of cancer since her surgery.  The chances of a recurrence drop after that 2 year period, so knowing that may help you moving forward. 

Sometimes you may get days, even now as you have experienced today when fear creeps in and it can overwhelm you-those words “but what if..” can start to eat away at you if you let them.

Try and not let those thoughts take hold, and flip them on their head-“what if there’s never a recurrence, what if it never comes back”- are so much more helpful. Your daughter is doing well, things are going well, all is well and hopefully it will always be so. 

Sometimes I do struggle, but I’ve never let that spark of hope inside me be extinguished. At times when I’ve been very ill, I’ve actually been very calm and thought “things are tough right now, but I’m going to get through this, things will get better” and so far I’ve got 100% record of getting through every day! That’s really all we can ask for.

I’m glad you’ll sleep better tonight, and I hope you’re feeling much calmer and more able to push that panic away. The fear of losing someone you love so much is such a powerful emotion that it can be hard to think rationally sometimes, but I’m glad you’ve come here and it’s helped you. 

Sleep well, Mary, and if you ever need to chat please come here and find me. Sometimes sharing your worries, even with a stranger, can give you a different perspective on things.

All best wishes to yourself and your daughter for continued health and happiness.

Sarah xx

Thank you Sarah xxxx