Hi all! my treatment for Stage 3 cervical cancer ended at the start of January and since then I’ve felt as though I’m in free fall. Emotions have been all over the place and I feel so guilty for everything that my diagnosis has meant to my friends and family. One minute I feel like me, but the smallest thing can cause me to crumble into a hysterical sobbing mess. Does anyone else feel like there’s a huge void after treatment that they just don’t know how to process?
Hi Lynseyyyyx and welcome to our group.
Yes, this sounds very familiar! Congratulations on finishing treatment, but now a whole load of emotions come into play as you process what you’ve been through.
When I finished my treatment I felt a sense of being abandoned in a way-we’ve had loads of different appointments, going daily to the hospital for radiotherapy, going through chemo and suddenly it all stops. The safety net of being seen very regularly by the staff and monitored is suddenly not there any more, and I found that a bit scary.
It’s hard to explain unless you’ve been through it, because others who have not experienced cancer can think that treatment is the end and everything’s done and dusted now. You’re supposed to be fine, but often we’re simply not.
Typically there’s a wait for a post treatment check up (mine was at 6 weeks) and then a scan usually at 3 months to see how the treatment has gone. Meanwhile we have worries that the treatment may not have been fully successful, we may need more and we get anxious about our follow ups.
All this was perfectly normal for me but I will say that the further out I was from treatment, the easier things became. We’ve been through some pretty intense treatment over a relatively short period of time and recovery from that, both mentally and physically, takes time. How are you feeling in yourself? Have you had any lingering side effects, or did you get through relatively unscathed?
I feel you need to be kind to yourself, let yourself feel those emotions, cry if you need to-whatever you feel is how you need to feel as you process this phase in your life being done with. Try to think positively that the treatment will have been successful and recover at your own pace-there’s no right or wrong way to do that.
Sarah xx
SarahH21 thank you so much for taking the time to reply 
everything that you’ve said is exactly how it has felt. So much anticipation for finishing treatment and expecting instant relief and a return to feeling ‘normal’ as soon as that last one is done and out of the way, and when it doesn’t feel like that and there’s nothing to focus on - no daily treatments, no scheduled follow-up - it really does feel a bit like you’ve been abandoned and you’re then stuck in limbo.
I do feel as though everything is starting to clear now I’m 6 weeks post treatment, but it’s so reassuring to hear that this is completely normal and that other people feel and have felt the same way, and that it does get easier.
I’m feeling ok in myself so far, it’s just the unnnown of how treatment has gone and trying to process everything that’s happened over the last 6 months that I think can be overwhelming at times. Especially at the moment.
I hope that you’re doing well and got the outcome that your recovery post-treatment is treating you kindly, and thank you so much again for taking the time. It’s so reassuring and means a lot 
️
xxxxxxxxxx
Hi Lynseyyyyx
Honestly, I recognise everything that you’re saying, and I’m sure others will too and come along and post.
Having something unknown hanging over our heads while we wait for the post treatment scan stretches the process out as we don’t have all the answers we need yet. The hope is to get a “no evidence of disease” result from this scan, but if you don’t get this, it’s important to remember that radiotherapy continues to work in the body after treatment ends. Some ladies can be told at this scan that there is still something there, so may have to wait another three months to be scanned again. I was told at my 3 month scan that I’d had a complete response to treatment and there was no evidence of disease. We just have to keep the faith during this waiting period!
Sarah xx
Thankyou, I only work part time but it’s a physical job and was tough at first but my energy levels are getting better although I do ache n feel like I’ve ages 20 yrs 
its done me the world of good for my mental health
im sorry to hear of your financial situation and hope you can get some extra help to ease the stress
All the best for upcoming results x
Hi Trease
I’m sorry to hear you are still struggling and how hard it is for you. I’m very glad I was already retired so didn’t have to think about returning to work, but I understand the emotional pressure we are all under after cancer and treatment.
I know you have said you are not entitled to any benefit, but I’ll put a link here to some information on finances to see if you can find anything helpful there. I’d strongly recommend calling the support line and talking through your circumstances with an advisor there.
Sarah xx
