Morning guys,
I just needed to put my feelings down and I thought this might be the best place as someone here might under stand it.
Im day 9 post op after having a radical hysterectomy through open surgery after a stage 1 cervical cancer diagnosis. Originally told op would be best options everything was discussed and I feel there was no hesitation from me, take out what's needed, I don't want more kids, I'm all good if ovaries need to go.. even after surgery been feeling great, minimal pain recovery seems to be going really well u till today.
My partner is away working (mums at home looking after me) and I woke up to a cute message about how much he loves me, how proud he is of me and how well iv handled everything, how we've became so much closer since diagnosis and it's reminded him how important I am to him then ended it with a wee cheeky can't wait till we can share some us time!
And iv just burst out crying and feeling like 2/3 of what makes me a woman has gone, I'm uncomfortable, bleeding, hormones everywhere and I'm feeling sorry for myself scared I'm not gonna be the same woman I was 10 weeks ago before all this started... I don't understand why I'm sad I 100% don't want more kids so it's not that (iv got an earth child who's 14 next week, and 2 angels).
Please can someone shed some light on what's going on with my emotions why am I sad.
Hope you are all keeping well x
Hi Kaz87 and welcome to our group.
You're not long out from a major surgery and no wonder you will be feeling like you do, both emotionally and physically. There’s the relief that the cancer is gone, but it sounds from your post that you went quickly from diagnosis to surgery and that’s a lot to process.
You do need time to recover, especially after open surgery, but it does sound like your physical recovery is going ok. However, it’s very probable that everything has just hit you and you’re suddenly feeling overwhelmed by everything. That’s ok! We can grieve for what we’ve lost but be thankful for what we’ve gained and our heads can be a bit of a mess.
While you’re still feeling sore and bleeding it can be hard to think positively, but hopefully that will come given time. Your hormones will be haywire, your partner is working away…that’s a lot, though I’m glad you’ve got your mum looking after you.
You are much younger than me, so I can’t say I felt that I had lost what makes me a woman-to me I don’t feel defined by having or not having a reproductive system as I was post menopausal when I was first diagnosed. My cancer was also a higher stage and my surgery was more extensive, but my focus was always about getting rid of the cancer, no matter what the cost. I can understand that would be very different to your own situation.
I hope that other ladies who have had the surgery will come along and post-there are quite a few in the group who have had this and will hopefully be able to share their thoughts and experience, and I’m sure you’ll be reassured that your feelings are very normal.
Take care and I hope you continue to recover gently.
Sarah xx
