I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in September 2024. It has been a whirlwind and has consumed my life since then. I had just started a new job which I was told today I no-longer have. I was on long term supply with the view to go onto full contract at Christmas. The school now have said it would be too disruptive to the class for me to come back. I can’t sleep tonight as I am overwhelmed with emotions from the last few months.
My cancer journey so far…..
After starting a new relationship with an old friend things had progressed very quickly and we had intercourse. My bed looked like a scene from Carrie! At first I thought it was because I had been celibate for a few years. The same thing happened the second time so I went to the GP. He checked my cervix and referred me straight to the hospital. I was seen within 4 days and a biopsy was taken. Being a totally prude this was a very upsetting process but they did their best to maintain my dignity. There is no dignity with your fanny out, legs up in the air and a male consultant examining you!
Side Note:
I had been put off having smears in my twenties due to my prudishness and the attitude of the nurse at my GP practice who had hurt me. I remember going home and being in a state of shock afterwards - shivering and crying.
Anyway after the biopsy it was pretty clear to me that the outcome was not going to be good It wasn’t long till I got a follow up, I spoke to my friend as I was worried about telling my family. She convinced me it was for the best.
On the day of diagnosis my friend and my sister were with me. I had convinced myself that I was a fraud and they would find nothing wrong. The big give away was the.consultant waiting for the Macmillan nurse to join us before discussing the results. It was surreal and devastating- this was my own fault because I didn’t get my smears tests that was the only thing in my head! That is the thought that has stayed with me! The ‘only if’ has popped into my head every time I’ve been for treatment.
After the diagnosis of cancer the next step was to have scans. It started with a MRI scan. I have been in the scanner a few times so wasn’t really worried about it. This time I had to have cannula and a medicine to relax the bowel. I was worried maybe it would relax it a bit too much!- thoughts of diarrhoea and farts - it didn’t and I was fine.
After the scan the MDT met and they were unsure if I was suitable for surgery so they sent me to have a different scan.
I went for a PET-CT. This was my second time of having a cannula and it was okay as they went into the vein on the crease of my elbow. If you’re not familiar with the procedure it entails having radioactive dye into your body and having to drink iodine water contrast then lying still for an hour before the scan. Afterwards you are left with a strange metallic taste in your mouth.
The scan itself was a little strange you lie on a rock hard table with your head and knees supported and arms either over your head or strapped next to your body. The table then moved through the tunnel and back. It was freezing cold and trying not to shiver and ruin the images was a difficult.
It was a few days after the MDT met agsin to discuss my treatment. It was decided that they could not get a clear margin around the tumour so it was not going to be surgery. Part of me felt relieved that I wasn’t going to lose my ovaries, womb and cervix. Having chemoradiotherapy seemed like a less painful root! I’m nor sure of my logic on this.
After a few more meetings first with the oncologist who was fantastic, Then the Macmillan nurse and radiology nurse. They all explained the process and gave me reading material and plently of reassurance about the treatment process.
The final step before beginning treatment was the measurement Ct scans. This was done for radiotherapy part of the treatment. My first experience I was mortified that the scan could not be done because of a full bowel and wind! They sent me away with the most revolting orange flavour drink to help soften my stool! These are words I never want to hear again.
I already explained that I am a total prude so talking about bowels was not on my list of conversations to have ever! My family all joke that I have a poo fairy who takes it away and that I don’t poo or fart.
A week later I have the scan and then the tatttoos. The tattoos are done with a thick Guate needle and they stab you on your hips and pubis! I’m not going to lie it hurt and I won’t be getting anymore tattoos.
Once all the planning was completed a date was set for the start of treatment. It was very quick only a few weeks to wait and get myself prepare.
On Monday 28th October 2024 my treatment began. I thought I would be fine still able to do most things. I was very wrong and this whole process has been hard letting other in and help. I have been a stubbornly independent person all my life.
The treatment…
5 weeks of chemoradiotherapy began.
Mindays chemotherapy followed by radiotgetspy
Tuesday to Friday - radiotgeespy
Weekends- off for good behaviour
Chemotherapy was the most boring day ever. I had
Cisplatin- to protect your kidneys you have IV fluids before and after the whole process takes about 7hours . You have a cannula inserted into your hand. I found it quite painful and on several occasions it had to be repeated before getting it to work or find a vein.
Radiotherapy - For this your bladder needs to be full and your bowel empty. You lie on the rock hard table with your knees and head supported. You have your pants partly pulled down and a tiny bit of couch roll to cover your dignity! Then you are lined up with the lasers in the room to your tattoos. The first scan is to check your bowel and bladder, If all is okay they then line up the images and you can have your treatment.
Over the five weeks it was tough going into hospital everyday. You are told about the side effects but until they start it’s something you can’t imagine. I went from walking my dog everyday for a couple of hours to couch potato. The exhaustion hit me straight away just getting ready in the morning was enough. Making meals was a chore and quiet often I had to sit down whist doing this. I had had grand plans to be more active but this was not happening. I tried to walk my dog but couldn’t manage 20mins without wanting to collapse in a heap. I thought I was going to pass out in the supermarket. Some days stairs were enough for me to be out of breath.
Nausea nightmare: On chemo days I was given IV anti-emetic to start with but this didn’t work very well for me. My consultant change it to a tablet which lasted 5 days as well as ciclozene. Thougout the 5 weeks I have had problem with feeling sick and vomiting. Not everyone gets this. It was pretty debilitating.
Tummy troubles - they tell you you might get diarrhoea and that’s normal. There was nothing normal about my tummy and this got progressively worse. I was scared of taking medication to stop it incase that has the opposite effect then I would have to drink the revolting orange laxative! Every day was was worried that they wouldn’t be able to do the treatment because of my bowel. I have never been so smelly or worried about pooing.
Full bladder - To protect your bowel from radiation your bladder needs to be full. You would think this was an easy task but when you have an upset tummy or have been sick this takes ages. Dehydration makes the challenge like water boarding yourself. I would start with peppermint tea to help the bowl then move onto squash. When you arrive for your appointments you have a bladder scan to see if you’re full enough. This is another procedure which required you pants to be partly pulled down.if you haven’t managed to fill up then more water is needed. You get sick of drinking and it feels like a new way to torture yourself daily. The trip home is filled with anxiety of peeing your pants as you have drunk so much.
Side effects . Strange tastes in your mouth, altered taste, constant peeing, upset tummy, nausea, joint pain, bruises from cannulas and fatigue ( unexplainable amour of tiredness.
The final indignities:
When the initial five weeks of treatment it gets a bit more serious. Brachytherapy. This is lifesaving and like medieval torture. I read up a lot before and talked to my nurses about it as I was petrified. Each hospital will have its own protocol. Mine was done over two weeks 3 doses in total.
I have never had a surgery before or stayed in hospital. Each person will have a different experience of this part of the treatment. For me it has be anxiety filled and extremely painful at times. There is no sugar coating it.
I has spinal blocks for each which were different each time depending on the anaesthesis. The first time it didn’t fully work so had a general on top and the ward was rubbish at giving painrelief while I waited for treatment. The second time it worked a little too well and it felt funny to breathe and was a difficult placement of the spinal needle at one point they caught the sciatic nerve sending an electric shock down the back of my leg. The third time I was very anxious and cried throughout.
Having the rods and markers inside along with packing materials is very strange. While the spinal is working you are unaware but as it wears off you can feel then if the team in the ward do not get your painrelief on time.
My first experience was horrible the nurses took over an hour to get the painreluef and by then it didn’t work. You are not allowed to move while the rods and marks are inside. It is a day lying flat in bed and relying on others.
After theatre you have two scans CT and MRI. Then you wait on the ward while the doctors plan the treatment doses. This takes a few hours before you are taken to the brachy suit.
In the brachytherapy room you are booked up to a small machine that delivers the radiation seed. It’s quite a short process mine was 7mins. Then everything is removed with gas and air!
Gas and Air - this was strange, it makes you dizzy and less focused on the world around you. You can still feel what’s going on but it makes it easier.
For me after everything was removed I was very sore and found it hard to sit for a few days. Peeing was painful and I needed to wash after each pee to reduce the stinging. My bladder and urethra were very sore and control is an issue. I have taken to using pads!
I hope this helps to explain the journey from a patient point of view. I know evetyone will have a slightly different journey.
I have now completed 5 chemo, 25 radiotherapies and 3 brachytheries. Tge process has been painful, emotional and eye opening. I have to wait now to see if it’s been successful - 12 weeks before the next scan. Hopefully no more cannulas till then. It’s time to recoup and find another job! I just need to be grateful that my cancer was treatable and the aim of my treatment is curative even though I feel awful.
Hi Sssss and welcome to our group.
Thank you for sharing your story-I’m sure it will be very helpful for ladies coming up to treatment, and will also be one that those of us who have been through this treatment will be able to identify with.
I was also stage 2b, and had 32 chemo and 4 Cisplatin but no brachytherapy as I had a pulmonary embolism the night before admission for that. I only managed 4 out of the 5 Cisplatin due to my bloods, but was told this would be enough so my last session wasn’t rescheduled.
A great deal of my treatment plan had me feeling very much the same as you with identical issues-the exhaustion, the diarrhoea and also cystitis which was horrible. These side effects, apart from the tiredness, were gone very quickly after my treatment ended but the fatigue continued longer.
I found waiting for the post treatment scan seemed endless and I was very anxious about the result. I did get a NED result from this and was told I’d had a “complete radiological response”. I hope you get the same.
I was very sorry to read that you’d lost your job-how unfair that seems on top of everything else. I hope you can find something else once you have recovered from your treatment.
You should start to recover now and the struggle to do that can be mental as well as physical-we’ve been through a lot in a short period of time. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you feel you need help with mental side of things-I think it’s very natural to need help to process everything and it can help to talk.
I hope you’ll stick with us to update us with your progress, and thank you again for sharing your story.
Sarah xx
Hi, I have also just finished the same treatment as you, now the dreaded waiting 
x
