Hi everyone,
Having a difficult day. Tomorrow I have to do my CT scan for my first follow up check post treatment. Then next week I have an MRI.
Feeling like nobody can understand how I feel. Feeling weepy and unsure. Keep being told to stay positive etc. It's just been great getting back to nearly normal life, I wish I could just forget all about this now and move on.
So many "what ifs" hanging in the air. I think it's also because I have been getting over a nasty cold, but just feel so low and taking it out on everyone around me. If one more person tells me it's important to stay positive, I think I might scream.
Thanks for listening and sorry for my bleak mood,
Lulabell
Hi Lulabell
No need to apologise at all for feeling a bit low. Scan times are particularly anxious times for all of us so I think we’ll all understand that.
I honestly felt, and still feel, like slapping anyone who repeats the stay positive stuff. I know they may feel it’s helpful and encouraging but usually they have had no experience of cancer and treatment. I didn’t find it helpful at all.
I’m feeling a bit low myself this afternoon, having had a follow up call with a gastro surgeon for a problem, unrelated to my cancer, that had me very ill and in hospital for 9 days at the start of the month. I’m certainly finding it difficult to be positive today! But tomorrow is another day, once I’ve got over this one.
Really hope that your CT and MRI results will be good and see you able to get back to normal life again with less of the what ifs hanging over you. Fingers crossed for good news.
Sarah xx
