A year on

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So it's been about a year since I was told I had cervical cancer  

I've become so emotional and just seem to cry at any moment or anything. Father's day was a bad day as I no longer speak to my dad (his choose) and so he doesn't know about my cancer and the hell of a year I've had. 

When I try and talk about my emotions I feel embarrassed or silly for feeling what I'm feeling. I've gone through so much this last year.. cancer, daughter going to uni hundreds of miles away, not been able to help her pack or move up there (was still recovering from the operation), not being able to go back to a job I love (carer), not being able to be mobile like before. 

My partner is surprised when we see the professionals that I say I'm still low and cry as he doesn't see me crying as I wait until he leaves or hide my tears. I still haven't contacted anyone as I've always dealt with my emotions myself or spoke to friends but as I can't do as much as use to I don't go out now without partner. 

I also feel no one will understand as they haven't been through it so the support I need I need to seek. 

Thank you for reading X 

Thank you Sarah 

  • Glad to see you back with us 

    We all understand and are here for you.

    Sarah xx

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    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi Sarah, 

    I was diagnosed in May this year and treatment being a radical hysterectomy and pelvic lymph node removal which I had 7 weeks later in June.
    My lymph nodes were clear of cancer.
    I came home after 5 days and started my recovery.
    I’ve not really cried and just got on with things. I’ve not felt I needed any help for my mental well being etc until lately.
    It’s been so hard. 
    I cry a lot but like yourself I do it privately. 
    I’ve tried to talk to my husband but he doesn’t understand why I think the way I do. I worry about it returning. 
    I feel if I talk to people I’m passing my burden to them, they don’t want it need to hear it, so I keep it to myself. 

    I don’t know if what I think is normal or if you feel the same? 
    would be nice to talk if you’d like too. 
    deb x

  • Oh bless you  I have not been emotional at all you can talk to us my lovely we will listen x

  • Hi  and welcome to the group.

    I wasn’t sure if your post was meant to be a reply to me or to  as I can see from her post that it looks like she is signing off with the name Sarah. Hopefully she will see your post and you’ll be able to chat to her.

    I think what you’re feeling is very normal-you went through a lot in a short space of time, and a cancer diagnosis is a lot to process. At first we’re just having to go through whatever treatment we need to do, and sometimes it only hits us later when we are trying to come to terms with what has happened. 

    It can be difficult to talk to family and friends, because as much as they can sympathise and support us, they don’t and can’t really understand what this is like for us. It’s natural to worry about the cancer returning, but we can’t let that thought dominate or we miss out on living.

    It really might help now both to have support here in the group, and to get some professional counselling to work through your feelings. If you wanted to do that, please call the Macmillan support line and have a chat with them-the number is in my signature.

    I hope you’ll find it helpful to be here with us and that  will see this and chat with you. Thank you for completing your profile details-this is very useful for other ladies to be able to see where you’re at. Feel free to ask about anything in the group-it’s a safe place to talk about fears and feelings with those who understand.

    Sarah xx

    Community Champion Badge

    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi  and welcome to the group

    I don’t think I’ve seen you post before, so perhaps you’d like to join the group and tell us a little about yourself? It’s helpful if you can add a little detail to your profile so we know what has brought you here, and you don’t have to repeat yourself in posts. 

    If we can help in any way, just ask any questions you’d like, or use the group to share your feelings.you are welcome to be with us.

    Sarah xx

    Community Champion Badge

    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi debmer 

    I'm sorry I've not replied but my mum sadly is in hospital and dying and I've been distracted. BIT please do message me private and we can chat. 

    I will listen and understand and even though I'm sad right now I will still answer you if you messaged me. 

    I am on bus to and fro hospital most days so I can answer then lol or when I'm awake all night cause I can't sleep. 

    Your not alone and it would be nice to chat to someone who I can give advice to a year on XX