How do you keep strong

I'm just on the journey for cervical cancer, and my am I sceard, I'm so trying to pull myself together but I'm in pieces, I just don't know how to cope.

Having more biopsies on Wednesday. I'm not sleeping I keep crying.

I get slight pain in my legs groin lower tummy and back.

Please help me ladies to get through this xx

  • Hello @optometrylass and a warm welcome to our group

    I’m so sorry you are feeling so scared, but we all can understand exactly how you feel. Are you able to tell us a little bit more about where you are in the process? For example have you had a diagnosis of cancer yet or do you need these further biopsies to confirm it? 

    First of all, try to take some deep breaths, and know that you are among ladies here who will completely understand our you’re feeling and can hopefully help you with this. It can be very difficult to pull yourself together at a time when you are so fearful, and you actually don’t need to in my opinion. This is a traumatic time and a lot to handle, so expect to feel exactly how you feel. 

    We are all at different stages of the process, from newly diagnosed, to going through treatment and coming out the other side of it. We are here to offer all the help and support that we can, and encourage you along the way. So please keep posting with us-this is a safe place to discuss your fears and feelings, to vent and let things out and we are here to listen.

    You’re at a particularly difficult point at the moment waiting for things to happen, and a plan to deal with whatever it is, but once you get through that, things become calmer and easier to deal with. 

    Sarah xx

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    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi optometrylass.

    I second everything that Sarah has said! This is definitely the place to voice all the feelings, fears and tears that you experience. We have all been in your shoes and some of us still are. So we know the turmoil that you are in ATM but it won't last. You will get control back and for me that was the biggest hurdle, feeling like I was on a rollercoaster of emotions with no brakes. It gets a bit easier as time passes so keep posting and keep breathing.

    Angela xx

  • Hi Optometrylass.  I'm sorry you are having to deal with this but you are in the best place here with everybody knowing and understanding exactly what you are going through.  If you are waiting for results, it really is the worst part of the whole process.  As soon as you are armed with more information, the going gets easier.  What you are feeling is perfectly normal but if there is anything, thank goodness they found it and can start to treat you to rid you of it.  Please keep reaching out to all the lovely ladies on here as we all would like to help you as you work through this xxx

  • Hi Sarah

    Long story but I had a smear test result come back  saying abnormal cells etc, I was so sceard I paid private for  copolscopy.

    The consultant told me I had cancer, noting I was on my own 60 miles from home.with no biopsy results.

    I asked her what the outcome would be I said shall I need an astectomy which she replied its gone to far, which to be honest alarmed me has I hadn't even had biopsy results.

    As u can imagine myself and my family are in pieces, so 850.00 less in my bank and stress is awlful.

    When my biopsy results come through I asked them to forward them to my gp but was told it would cost me 200.00 to get results.

    After complaining the results went through to my gp, which she said it wasn't her field bit said it looked like i had cancer at top of the cervix but didn't understand the rest of the results. 

    I am now going for.more biopsies at hospital on Wednesday x

    I just carnt stop Cry 

  • Thankyou Angela, I'm trying so hard to get my head around things at the moment.

    Just been for a nice meal with my daughter and 3 glasses of red wine, so hopefully a better night's sleep 

    Thankyou xx

  • Thankyou so much for your reply. 

    • And thankyou I look forward to all your help and support xxx
  • Oh hope u enjoyed your wine Wine glass  lol..u will feel so much better once u have results and definite diagnosis in place! Nobody wants those positive results but having a plan in place is so liberating! Coz u know where u are on a particular day at a certain time! I had a crappy day yesterday but having the best day today! Things change so rapidly..u gotta take each day as it comes. 

    Positive vibes.

    Angela xx

  • Hi optometrylass

    Oh my goodness, that’s been a really distressing experience for you, I’m so sorry. And you’ve spent all that money. Now that you’re back in the nhs system, I’m sure you’ll be dealt with quickly. GPs often don’t know much about the detail of cancer, so going to gynaecology for biopsies and assessment means you will get the right information and treatment. 

    I can’t say I’m impressed by your experience of going private. Basically now it’s almost like starting the process again for you. 

    But you have been told you have cancer-that is one hurdle you don’t have to face again. Now it’s all about finding out where the cancer is at, and what stage. You will exhaust yourself by crying all the time and if I can gently suggest this, you will need to try to calm down to be able to go through what is going to come and try and be in the best place to face it. 

    You cannot change whatever results come from this, so it’s best to keep your energy for dealing with it and knowing that whatever it is, you can be treated. You won’t know what the treatment will be yet, so try to take one day at a time for now, even one hour at a time and keep putting one step in front of the other. 

    Sarah xx

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    Cervical Cancer Forum

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi again Optometrylass, I found it very helpful to take control of anything that I could to prepare me for what was to come such as diet, exercise is something that we can control and prepare our bods for treatment. It feels good to feel as if you're doing something that you have control over. Hope this helps,.....oh and apparently red wine is good for you!  Well we know that!  Also I agree with all that Sarah and Angela say xxx