6 months on...

Hi Piglet1977. I'm not from this group as I have a different type of cancer but I can fully empathise with what you're going through. After my Hysterectomy and Brachytherapy were done and dusted I thought I'd got away with everything lightly but have had a few bowel issues started which my CNS suspects I'm developing IBS. Currently waiting for a CT scan result to pinpoint the problem. In addition I've developed what seems to be RSI in my shoulders which give excruciating pain at times. Like you, I so want to go back to feeling normal. I had no symptoms either of what was going on inside of me and it was a heck of a shock! I so wish I could turn back the clock.

It's good to hear your biopsy came back clear, one less thing to worry about.

I also agree about hating the dreaded dilators, I do try to use weekly but often can't bring myself to do so. I will let you into a little secret, I hate them so much I invested, at the grand old age of 68, in some buzzy toys. They achieve the same result but are much more fun!! Couldn't believe it when I had my first multiple orgasm! LOL!

Another lady in my group who is an engineer described using her dilators as a form of analysis to ensure everything's in good working order which when you think about it is true.

Stick with it, big hugs, B xx

Hello Piglet

That’s very good news that your biopsy came back clear! I think we all hate those dilators and it is a real chore to use them, but they are really important to avoid closing up and making it difficult to be examined in the future. I think the ones which are provided to us are very clinical and unpleasant so it can be very difficult psychologically, it’s a good idea to do as Mrs BJH has suggested to invest in some “toys” which are more flexible and less of a medical instrument! You need to be very relaxed to use any kind of dilator and use lots of lubricant. But I would recommend sticking with it and trying to use them regularly. I know ladies who have completely closed up and it can happen surprisingly quickly. I would have a chat with your team to make sure that you are using them correctly to get maximum benefit-in my experience there was little information provided and you were just left to get on with it. Good luck, and I hope that things will improve for you-I don’t suppose things are helped at the moment for you by your menopause symptoms, but hopefully this can be addressed when you go to the clinic.

Hi Piglet

I also found dilators a chore and uncomfortable to use.  I stuck with them for 12-18 months because that's how long my oncologist said I needed to use them to prevent adhesions forming.  After that my oncologist said I only needed to carry on using them if I wanted to have penetrative sex, which I don't.  However I did buy a small silicone vibrator (about the same size as the dilator that suited me best) to keep things in some sort of working order - I use it now and then.

I know of some ladies who bought a set of silicone dilators to replace the NHS hard plastic ones; apparently they are more comfortable to use.  I don't know if they're as effective as the NHS dilators - you could ask your medical team.  Jo Divine sell silicone dilators as well as vibrators.  Don't be put off if you think the website looks a bit risque; the products are good quality and there is some sound information about sexual health/pleasure if you look around.

https://www.jodivine.com/products/calex-inspire-silicone-dilator-kit

I assume you are using a lubricant with your dilators? - I get on well with Optilube or if you like the idea of an oil based lubricant Yes do one:

https://www.yesyesyes.org/products/oil-based-organic-lubricant/

Another thing that has helped me a lot is topical oestrogen.  I was prescribed with Ovestin a while back and it's helped to reverse some of the atrophic changes (thinning and drying) to my vagina brought on by menopause.

Something else you might want to consider is asking for a referral to a women's health physiotherapist; I was referred because I struggled to use dilators and I came away with a better understanding of how I should be using the dilators and feeling more motivated.  The physio also helped me on a psychological level; it seems I was anxious and a bit of afraid of doing anything with my vagina and the physio helped me overcome that.

I hope you manage to find a way forwards sooon.