I’m not entirely sure what I’m looking for — maybe just a safe space to let some of this out.
Last year I was diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer. I know I was fortunate that it was caught early, but the whole experience took a huge toll. After three procedures and several hospitalisations due to internal bleeding, I finally got the all clear in October and was told to come back in six months for a screening.
What I didn’t realise at the time was how deeply it had affected my mental health. I think you go into survival mode and just do whatever you need to do to get through it. When it was finally over, I expected to feel relief, but instead my body crashed. I was told I had burnout — the fatigue and physical pain were unlike anything I knew stress alone could cause.
By December I started focusing on healing, and slowly I felt like I was getting my life back on track, both at work and socially. Then the unusual bleeding started. I didn’t say anything at first, but when it continued for four weeks, I knew I had to. I’ve now been referred to gynae and have a colposcopy and biopsy scheduled in two weeks to check for any abnormalities.
It feels like déjà vu. I keep telling myself to wait for the results, but the worry is very real. It’s incredibly triggering and feels far too soon after what was already such a traumatic experience.
Hi Bris1725
I’m sorry you still have this anxiety about possible recurrence and the fact that you have to undergo some more testing because of your bleeding. But it’s always best to get these things checked out, and check the reasons for it.
It may not be a recurrence of cancer, but it will be difficult to have this worry hanging over you while you wait for the colposcopy and biopsy. I remember you’ve had the lletz procedure done more than once before, and it may be the case that your body is having difficulty in clearing the hpv virus-sometimes its persistent and it can be more difficult for some people to clear it and have it go dormant.
Any kind of cancer diagnosis can have a very negative effect on your mental health, so I wonder if you’ve ever thought about having any kind of counselling or therapy to help you deal with your worries? It may help you come to terms with things.
I hope you’ll come back and let us know how you get on at your appointment and when you get your results. There will always be support for you in the group.
Sarah xx
