Hello everyone, I’m just trying to reach out. I had a Bilateral Oophorectomy (ovaries removed) at the beginning of April and during the op they noticed my cervix looked “strange”. They did a biopsy and it has come back as cancer. A colposcopy appointment was made with a view to a Leetz procedure but it couldn’t be performed as the cancer was around the size of a golf ball. I don’t know what this means or how severe it is or isn’t. I’ve had a chest x-ray, MRI, and a PET-CT and I’m now just waiting to be called in for the results.
The not know is driving me insane, I’m a very positive person but the more I have to wait the more difficult I’m finding it. The treatment, although I know it will be tough, isn’t worrying me. I will endure what ever is necessary. It’s the not knowing how bad it is. I’m hoping to be called in by the end of the week to find out what the staging and treatment plan is but at the moment I feel like I’m in limbo. Any advice on how to ease my wandering brain would be much appreciated xx
Hi Funsize and welcome to our group.
You’re at one of the most difficult parts of the process now-waiting for your results and a treatment plan. It’s really hard to quieten those thoughts at this point, so many of us will be able to identify.
It is very helpful to have a positive mindset, so that should help you cope, but the not knowing is very difficult. I turned to a Mindfulness app on my phone-it helps focus you in the moment, and you need to concentrate on your breathing. I spent a lot of my waiting time distracting myself with activities which required concentration-for me it was adult colouring in with intricate patterns and I listened to calming music again on a free phone app which was helpful if I was finding it difficult to turn my mind off and sleep.
If negative thoughts intruded I tried very hard to bat them away and concentrate on what I knew for a fact at that moment, not the “what if” type of question which was only speculation while I was going through the process. Even now, I try very hard not to ask myself a question which starts “”what if”!
If you’re getting called in by the end of the week it’s just a few days to get through and you just have to do the best you can. I’ve seen people say they allowed themselves to worry for a set and specific time each day and move on, but I think that takes discipline and I’m not sure I’d have found that useful for me.
Knowing that you have cancer is a big shock for most of us, but I found it was easier when I knew my staging and plan, so I hope you’ll find the same. It gives you a focus to get through whatever treatment is needed with the goal of it being a success and being able to move on.
I hope you’ll hear from some of the other ladies in the group, and let us know how you get on when you have your appointment. We have lots of experiences in the group of the different stages of this cancer, and the treatments, and lots of positive stories.
Sarah xx
Thank you Sarah, it’s nice to know this is a normal feeling to have at this stage.
I’m not sure what has happened, all my smears have come back negative and they tell me it is really slow growing. So have I had it for a while and it has just gone undetected? I’ve had a few problems with fibroids and endometriosis hence the ovaries being removed and I’m just thankful that I had that op and they found it.
I will keep you updated on here with what is happening so that someone else might benefit from reading about my journey 
It can happen unfortunately-a negative smear doesn’t mean you can’t have cervical cancer as it’s not a diagnostic test, although something described as “golf ball” sized does seem quite large (although size is not an indication of stage). So, it’s possible you’ve had it a while and it’s not been picked up-that might well depend on its location too. A friend of mine always had negative smears but had stage 2b cervical cancer six months after a clear smear test.
It’s really fortunate you had the BSO surgery done and had this discovered, so that’s something to be thankful for at least if you’re looking for a positive spin on this!
It would definitely be helpful for others in the group for you to continue to tell us how you’re getting on so please keep posting, asking questions, venting, sharing worries-whatever you’d like. You’re very welcome to be with us.
Sarah xx
Hello 
Im currently at the same point as you. Well, I have my appointment on Wednesday. I had my MRI last Wednesday, Last Friday got the call to arrange the face to face appointment this Wednesday.
Im currently experiencing every feeling you are so I’d take that as normal, like Sarah said.
I actually decided on Saturday to distant my mind and refuse to think about Wednesday until I had to. Which is hard in itself.
But didn’t want to read and run. Here to chat x
