Awaiting results from punch biopsy

Hi Bex8 and welcome to our group!

Gosh, you’ve got yourself in a quite a state, so the first thing I’d say is take a deep breath and try to calm down. Let’s see if we can get you some reassurance before your mind goes completely into overdrive here.

First of all you had borderline results from a smear-that’s just about as close as it gets to being a normal smear result. It’s tiny cell changes, not even on the usual 1-3 scale of cervical cell changes. Now you’ve had your punch biopsy, this should be able to tell exactly what these cells are. 

Now, I realise that the nurse has scared you by saying you have a fragile cervix, but it is way too early to jump to the conclusion that you have advanced cervical cancer just from that. We all tend to think the worst when we have any sort of abnormal result and don’t have all the information we need, but we are usually wrong. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read stories from women assuming they had advanced cervical cancer and it turned out they just had pre cancerous cells and not cancer at all. When I was diagnosed I thought the cancer would have spread everywhere, but it hadn’t.

I’m not sure how much you know about advanced cervical cancer, but I’ve been through it, and I hope you’re not consulting dr Google for information to frighten yourself further. You cannot diagnose yourself from the internet.  Advanced cervical cancer brings with it more symptoms than bleeding, and even then it’s not necessarily continual bleeding. For me what was continual was the intense pelvic pain. It also means having a tumour, in my case big enough to be seen by the gynaecologist as soon as he examined me. That’s advanced cancer.

The nurse is clearly concerned, which is why you are going to get your biopsy results back quickly, but until those results are back no-one, not even a nurse or gynaecologist can determine if it’s cancer or not. Yes, that possibility is there as smears are not a diagnostic test, so I can’t say that you definitely don’t have cancer. What I’m saying is that it’s not a certainty yet. Ultrasounds are not used in detecting cervical cancer, and nor are blood tests so it is POSSIBLE that there is something wrong.

But it is WAY too early to be thinking you are not going to be here for your girls, even if you do get a cancer diagnosis. it could be that you have abnormal cells, which are pre cancerous and can be treated with a straightforward procedure at the clinic. A cancer diagnosis would mean treatment of course, but there would be a treatment plan if you have that diagnosis. At any stage of this cancer there would be a plan, which you would complete because you needed to.

At my original diagnosis more than 4 years ago now, my cancer was what is called “locally advanced”, which meant it was a tumour in my cervix and it had grown into the vaginal wall-hence they could see it on examination. I had successful treatment, which removed it. Unfortunately it came back-so then it really was advanced cancer, but I had surgery 2.5 years ago and I’m still here and doing well, having had all of the cancer removed. My case is a little out of the norm, but the point is I’m still here and I’m well. I have 2 daughters who are adults but there was no way I wasn’t going to try and live and do well for them and for me. I NEVER lost hope and I just kept going and trying to be as positive as I could. 

Please don’t start writing yourself off before you even have a diagnosis. All of us in this group know and understand the fear, but we’ve knuckled down and got on with what we needed to do, whatever treatment we had to have. I can’t say you don’t have cancer, but if you do you will deal with it because you have to. 

Please use the group to keep posting about anything you need to, and of course let us know how your results go. You need to eat, you need to sleep, and if you are having problems with those things, please see your gp who could give you something to help in the short term with your anxiety. We have a lot of experience in the group and we’ll help to support you through whatever happens next.

Sarah xx

Hi Sarah. Thank you so much for your reply. I know I shouldn't think the worst yet but the way the nurse was speaking it was as if she just knew something was seriously wrong. She asked me if I could call someone to sit with me before she spoke to me and then started mentioning different kinds of treatment. She didn't even say 'but there could be another explanation for this'. I stupidly did resort to Dr Google before coming here and now every twinge in my back or stomach is scaring me so much. I know I need to calm down but I just cannot help catastrophising. 

So sorry to read what you have gone through. It's great that you seem to be doing so well now. 

I am just trying to put on a brave face for the girls but as they have just gone to bed I am sat here in tears again. Going to try and force some food down now.

Hi again Bex8

Only a biopsy can confirm cancer for certain, though it does seem she has seen something of concern. Can I ask what treatments  she discussed with you? To be honest she shouldn’t be discussing anything until you have a diagnosis. We all imagine feeling things which reinforce our bad thoughts, but twinges and pains can also be brought on by anxiety or made worse by anxiety. But keep in mind that cervical cancer is a very treatable disease, if you do get that diagnosis. 

Are you on your own or do you have a partner for support? You really could do with some support at the moment to help you.

Sarah xx

To be honest I cannot recall exactly what she said as I went numb. 

I have a wonderful family but they are 100 miles away and don't want to say anything to my mum or sisters until I know more. I live with my husband and 2 daughters but haven't had a relationship with husband for about 6yrs. Last night was the first time we have shared a room for years as I didn't want to be alone. He is being surprisingly supportive. I have great friends too but not felt upto talking to anyone.

It's just hard to pretend everything is okay in front of the girls when I am panicking so much inside.

Thank you so much for your replies. It helps even talking here. 

I didn’t tell my family until I had a diagnosis and a plan of treatment so I could put a positive spin on everything and not worry my daughters. I didn’t tell anyone outside my own family until later. It’s hard telling people too early, because they will often have questions, and you don’t know the answers yourself yet. Can I ask did the nurse say she thought it was cancer? Or have you assumed cancer because she seemed concerned? 

Sarah xx

She sat my down after the exam and asked if I had anyone with me at the hospital who could come sit with me and I said no. She then said 'you are probably not going to hear anything after I say this but you have a very fragile cervix and I suspect it could be cancer. I am sending your biopsies for urgent review and I will ring you with the result, hopefully by Tuesday at the latest'. Everything after that was a blur as I was numb and felt sick, a feeling which has not gone away since. I think the reason I am so worried is because the heavy bleeding has been happening for years. 

Ah, I see. I’m not familiar with a nurse phoning with results or giving a diagnosis-it’s always been a gynaecologist or consultant and face to face appointments in my experience. A nurse is not a gynaecologist so I’m surprised she’s said all that today and expecting you to cope with a potential cancer diagnosis via a telephone call. There’s a lot of information to take in if it is cancer, and that’s hard enough to absorb face to face, never mind over the phone. 

Have you never had your heavy bleeding investigated before? It’s a long time you’ve been putting up with that. But cervical cancer is typically slow growing and usually takes a long time to develop so please try not to get yourself too worked up or you’ll make yourself ill with anxiety. A week is a very quick turnaround for biopsies these days, but at least you won’t be waiting ages to get answers.

Sarah xx